I've been doing a little side business lately in clutter coaching.  I'm not a cleaning lady and I'm not a professional organizer, but what I am is a recovering clutter-holic (notice I didn't say a recovered clutter-holic) and I have a lot of hard-won lessons to share with my clients to help them with their own clutter journey.  

This is a post I did a while back.  I need to remember these lessons myself as well, so I repost it again every once in a while to help remind both of us of the importance of appreciation.  

One very important way to get cooperation from your family members is simply by showing your appreciation for their help. A simple thank you or complimenting them on a job well done can go a long way toward building cooperation from them. One of my managers had a great plaque displayed in his office that stated this principle very clearly:

Actions that are recognized and rewarded will be repeated

I love this saying because it's very all-purpose. Notice that it doesn't just say Positive actions that are recognized.... It means ANY type of action, positive or negative. If you reward your child for whining by giving him what he wants, that negative action will be repeated. If you reward your teenager daughter by ignoring her breaking of a rule, that action will be repeated also. Similarly, if you allow a child (or a husband!) to slide by on an assigned chore without consequences, that action will be repeated as well.

But if you come home and thank your husband for unloading the dishwasher, compliment him on how nice the front lawn looks, and tell your son how proud you are that he has kept his room clean for the last few days, how likely is it that these actions will be repeated?

You might even take it a step further. I've been known to reward chores done well with surprise rewards of candy bars, liters of their favorite sodas, or other unexpected treats. I had a chore that I've been trying to get Tony to do for months and I was totally frustrated with him. His father passed away in February and he needed to sort out all the old photographs from their house and send them out to his various relatives. It was an emotional chore and I could see why he didn't want to do it, but I was tired of having the half-done task laying around in the family room.

So I had a $20 gift card to a restaurant he liked. I tacked it up on the bulletin board and told him he could have it as soon as the job was done. It still took a bit more prodding, but he finally finished it this week and we used the gift card for lunch today. He even thanked me for giving him that little extra push to get the job completed.