This is a guest post I did a while back over at In Be-Tween Moms.  

Kids and chores is always a tough combination and I think the teen years are the hardest of all when it comes to chores.  We are so good at the nagging and criticizing part, but we aren’t always as good in the appreciation department.  Ironically, showing appreciation is so much more likely than nagging to get us the result we desire.

One of my managers had a great plaque displayed in his office that stated this principle very clearly:

I love this saying because it’s very all-purpose. Notice that it doesn’t just say Positiveactions that are recognized…. It means ANY type of action, positive or negative. If you reward your teen for whining by giving him what he wants, that negative action will be repeated. If you reward your daughter by ignoring her breaking of a rule, that action will be repeated also. Similarly, if you allow a child (or a husband!) to slide by on an assigned chore without consequences, that action will be repeated as well.

But if you come home and thank your son sincerely for unloading the dishwasher, compliment him on how nice the front lawn looks, and tell your son how proud you are that he has kept his room clean for the last few days, how likely is it that these actions will be repeated?