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Monday, January 31, 2011

Clutterbugs: Ask for What You Want

If you are like most people, you live with one or more other people.  The problem with this is that no two people have the same level of cleanliness.  Invariably, one person is going to end up being the "cleaner" one and one will be the "messy" one.  And somehow you have to come to grips with that.  


Housework varies from the #1 to #3 cause of stress in marriages & families, right along with money, child raising, and sex.  It is the topic of many a fight and has even caused the breakup of many marriages.  Therefore, it is worth giving the topic some time and attention.  


I believe the way to get the cleanie people to live in peace with the messy people in the house is a little bit of open and honest conversation with a good healthy dose of respect and tolerance.  Then you can get past some of these stalemates and power struggles that have been going on for years.  


Part of an honest conversation is to ask for what you want.  What a refreshing concept!  No more criticizing and blaming the the other person, no more passive aggressive manipulation, you just come right out and say what it is you need.  Here is something I came up with for my family a couple of years ago.  It's still written on a piece of paper on the side of the fridge as a reminder.  


Statement of Intention:  My desire for a clean house will be respected even if it is not understood or shared.  This is my only home and I deserve to live in a place that meets my needs and my desire for a peaceful, clean place to relax.  I do not deserve to be embarrassed when company stops by unexpectedly.  Even if it’s not fair, they blame me when the house is messy and not you.  I shouldn’t have to bear that shame when it isn’t my fault.  I will expect your cooperation because you love me and want me to be happy and having a clean home is necessary to make me happy.  I don’t expect miracles or extraordinary efforts, but everyone needs to do to some basic things on a daily basis to help keep the place in order.  I would love to have your praise and compliments, but I will settle for you not criticizing my efforts and trying to bring me down. 


That is calm, respectful, assertive, and to the point.  And it did get results.  After I wrote that, my family began to see that having a clean home was a priority for me and that I really wasn't asking for anything unreasonable or extraordinary, and they began to help more and complain less. 


My husband isn't a deep thinker, so he wouldn't have taken the trouble to write anything down, but I would imagine that a similar statement for the messy person would go something like this.  


Statement of intent:  This is my home as well, and I deserve a place to relax and enjoy myself without having to be criticized every time there is something out of place.  I am not a bad person and I do not deserve to be treated like one, regardless of the way I choose to take care of my belongings.  If you love me and want me to be happy, my differences need to be respected and tolerated. In exchange for my efforts in keeping the public areas of the house to your standards, I need to be allowed to have areas of the house to do as I please, free from guilt or criticism.  


With that as a starting point, do you think these two people would have a better chance of living together without killing each other or ending up in divorce court?  Seems to me that seeing the other person's point of view would go a long ways towards developing some compromises that would work out for both parties and bring a little peace to the household.  


What are your strategies for dealing with the cleanies vs. messies situation in your household?

If you would like to see past posts on the subjects, just click the label at the bottom of the page for a complete list.  


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Stamped Stuff: Digital Page - Brothers

I usually post my Stampin' Stuff on Mondays, but this week I wanted to wait so I could post it to coincide with the start of our largest and best sale of the year.  Sale-a-bration is an event many of our long-time customers save up for all year.  

If you aren't familiar with this promotion, it's pretty simple - from now until the end of March, for every $50 in Stampin' Up! products you purchase, you will get a free SAB item.  The items this year include a more varied list than ever before.  You can not only choose stamp sets, but also a vinyl applique, and a CD packed with digital downloads.There is also a scrapbooking or card making kit that includes paper, ribbons, buttons, and self-adhesive stick on's in some of our freshest Spring colors. 


I haven't posted very often about my Stampin' Up! business and I'm not sure why.  I originally started this blog as a stamping blog, but then I branched out into other topics.  But I've been a stamper for a lot longer than I've been a blogger.  My demonstratorship is my own business that I run out of my home in my "spare" (ha ha!) time!  I enjoy it and it provides a source of income for my family.  And I'm proud of the great service I provide to my customers and the quality products that I sell.  


If you are in the Salt Lake area, I would like to invite you to my monthly classes.  For about the last five years, I have taught a stamp class virtually every month.  I actually have two classes now and I am eyeballing a 3rd one.  My classes are on the 2nd Tuesday evening of every month and the following Thursday.  And if I can get enough interest, I would like to start a new My Digital Studio class to teach digital scrapbooking to my customers.  


If you don't live in the area I have a website that you can order from 24 X 7.  It is AdriansStampClub.stampinup.net or you can Email me with any orders, questions, or comments regarding our products.  There are also some specials for new demonstrators who sign up during Sale-a-bration, so if you've been thinking about it, drop me a line and I'll share some info with you about this opportunity. 


And now, here is today's MDS page.  




These are my two younger boys and this is a very typical pose for them.  It seems like I can't turn around without the two of them wrestling around and monkeying with each other.  But for the most part, it is surprisingly good-natured and they actually get along pretty well.  


I pulled the colors for this project from their shirts.  Our boys always seem to end up in grey - it's just their color, so I used that for our background color, combined with our Night of Navy for the stars and other accents.  Then I used the Genuine Article stamp set to add the little text accents.  


Did I mention that our MDS program can be used on both Macs and PC's?  Or that the images can also be used in Adobe Photoshop or any of the other popular scrapbooking programs?  The program is packed with dozens of complete stamp sets along with our full line of matching cardstock, buttons, ribbons, and a boatload of other accessories.  It's a LOT of stuff and there are new digital downloads coming out onto the site every week.  


So, if you are a crafter, what do you need?  This is a great time to stock up on paper, ink pads, adhesives, and any of the other basic supplies you might need throughout the year.  Why not, when you can get all the great free stuff?  Pop over to my website and take a look at some of the incentives offered.  Or I'd be happy to get a catalog to you.  I only charge $5 plus postage for them.  

 

Monday, January 17, 2011

Stamped Stuff: January Projects

This week, I thought I'd show off my projects from January.


This is a card I put together with one of the new Sale-a-bration sets called Bliss. It's totally adorable.


Here is our "official" Valentine card.  I love the combination of Cherry Cobler with black & white.  If you look carefully you'll see a bit of paisley embossing in the background.  Then you just take the scalloped circle & trim it to make the pretty dress.  I used Night & Day patterned paper.


Our technique this month was Watercoloring. I found a YouTube video that had a watercoloring project that was almost exactly this set, so I tried it first with markers and then with watercolor pencils. I finally decided I liked it best with the markers and the aqua painters.


This was our attempt at making our own patterned paper. I don't remember the name of this set from the Spring mini catalog, but it's a dead ringer for the old set Watercolor Minis. I'm glad they brought it back even if it is in a new form.

This was our 3D project this month. It goes on a drink bottle and you put a drink packet in the little pocket. Makes a nice little giftie for teachers, neighbors, etc. Looks cute with the new Botanical Patterns paper.

handmade projects
 

Clutterbugs: The Beauty of Small Rewards

This is a little essay from my on-line financial advisor Chellie Campbell. Go visit her over at Chellie.com - she's always got a lot of great ideas and upbeat ideas. I think it ties in nicely with my advice about giving yourself frequent, small rewards. 

“Money won’t make you happy…but 
everybody wants to find out 
for themselves.”—Zig Ziglar


Shipshape Dollars by Chellie Campbell

My friend, Korey, and I went on a cruise. We worried about gaining weight, since there was so much scrumptious, abundant food supply on board that we couldn’t believe it. There were about twelve meals per day: Pre-breakfast snack, breakfast, after breakfast snack, mid-morning snack, pre-lunch snack, lunch, after lunch snack, afternoon tea, cocktail hors d’oeuvres, dinner, mid-evening snack…by the time the midnight buffet arrived, I couldn’t get so much as another cracker in my mouth!

We decided that we would counter all the food by exercising: Always using the stairs instead of the elevator, making sure to do a lot of walking, dancing in the disco, and going to aerobics class every morning.

We showed up for aerobics class the first morning bright and early. There was a good crowd at the class and the instructor, Debbie, was energetic and upbeat, so a good time was had by all. Debbie was dressed in a cute yellow Royal Caribbean T-shirt and matching visor. At the end of the hour, she gave each one of us a yellow “Ship Shape” dollar and told us that we would get one at the end of each exercise program on the ship. If we collected ten “Ship Shape” dollars, we could redeem them for a yellow T-shirt and visor just like hers. Everyone’s eyes lit up. A free prize? Cool!

You might guess that, as the week wore on, and we partied and danced ‘til the wee hours of the morning, it became increasingly difficult to get up at 7:00 A.M. to go to aerobics class. The wake up call would ring in our rooms, shattering our slothful sleep, and we would groan in chorus. I would say, “I don’t want to get up and go to aerobics this morning, do you?” Korey would say, “No…but I only have five ‘Ship Shape’ dollars. How many have you got?” “I’ve only got four—how did you get five?” “Oh, they gave me one for shuffle board yesterday.” “That’s cheating!” “No, it isn’t, it was exercise!” “Well,” I said, “I’ve got to get up and go to class so I can catch up.”  And we’d both get up and drag our tired bodies to aerobics class.

There were a lot of tired bodies there! But I noticed everyone telling versions of our story: “Well, I was really tired and didn’t want to come today, but I only have six dollars and I need four more to get my T-shirt,” or “I wanted to sleep in, but I need three more dollars!”

It was amazing how people were plugged into this competition for a T-shirt while on this cruise that cost $800 (they could definitely afford to buy themselves a T-shirt if they wanted one).

The lessons of the “Ship Shape” dollars are: 1) Rewards and prizes are fun. 2) People will work hard to get their prizes, no matter what they are. 3) The actual value of the prize doesn’t matter. 4) Therefore, pick prizes to reward yourself when you accomplish your goals!

Today’s Affirmation: “I accept rich rewards—and I deserve them!”
 
How can you use this idea to motivate yourself to do the things you don't really want to do?

If you'd like to see past posts on the subject, click on the label at the bottom of this post for a complete list.  
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Monday, January 10, 2011

Clutterbugs: Clean House = Money in the Bank?

The other day, I was over at the home of one of my "cleanie" friends and it's really got me thinking. This lady had a gorgeous house that was beautiful and apparently effortlessly clean. I was in several different rooms during my visit and all of them were gorgeously decorated and looking wonderful even though she works a full-time job and wasn't expecting visitors.

I used to feel really bad about myself when I would go into homes like this. Now I try to use people like this as an example and a way to get ideas. Obviously, I'll never manage to keep my home exactly like this because she has that "born organized" gene and I don't, but I think it's an opportunity to learn. 

The interesting thing is that people like this probably don't spend HALF the time cleaning that we do. Because they've got those naturally neat habits, they just sort of pick things up all the time as they are going about their day, so they never have a big mess to deal with like I do. And apparently this has rubbed off on her husband and children, which is wonderful. I've seen both her kid's rooms and they are just as nice as the rest of the house.

I have several friends like this and there's one thing I've noticed.  They all seem to be in the category, I would term as "well-to-do" or even quite wealthy.  They certain have beautiful homes in nice neighborhoods that are full of beautiful furniture and decor.   

"Are they doing well because 
they have neat habits, or 
do they have neat habits 
because they are well-to-do?"


This leads me to kind of a chicken or egg question. Are they doing well because they have neat habits, or do they have neat habits because they are well-to-do?

Personally, I kind of think it is the first one. I think they are doing well because of the neat habits they have developed. The good habits that make for a nice house are the same habits that make for a good worker and a good parent.

What employer doesn't want an employee who is organized, meticulous, and self-disciplined? And these same skills come in very handy as a parent. I know that my kids struggle a lot in school, not because they aren't really, really smart, but because I don't do well in helping them keep organized.

Here's an interesting thought. What if we were to take like three months and really focus on building our routines and getting our house into this kind of shape? I'll bet that would help us have the confidence and the skills to go out and get a better job and do a much better job with managing our money. We'd probably be much better parents too.

I've heard of this before. Flylady has said many times that messy houses are often tied with other problems, such as weight issues, money problems, marital problems and low-self esteem. It's kind of like a spider web. When you tighten up one thread in the web, the other ones just automatically tighten up as well. 

What a great goal. Wouldn't it be just wonderful if we could all have a clean house, lots of money, great kids, AND a skinny body - whoohoo!  

If you'd like to see past posts on the subject, click on the label for a complete list.

 

Monday, January 3, 2011

Stamped Stuff: Digital Page - Blake and the Chair

My kids are always endlessly interesting and original.  Every day I wonder what new thing they are going to come up with.  One day, I came out to find Blake had put his socks on the chair leg.  

Since the pictures didn't have a lot of color in them, I wanted to give the page a lot of color and texture to set them off properly.  I used our Kiwi Kiss for the background and Only Orange and Bashful Blue for the accent ribbons.  I even put a nice pattern on the scalloped edges of the ribbon.   




handmade projects



 

Clutterbugs: Have a Policy for Your Kids

I'm not sure if this is more of a parenting tip or a decluttering tip, but it is something that has helped me.  I have specific policies on certain things and I refer to them frequently.  For instance if my son asks to keep his Sobe bottle, or the bottle for his favorite Jones Soda, I simply refer him to my "trash policy".  My trash policy states that we do not keep things in our house that are classified as trash, so that's a definite no on Sobe or Jones Soda bottles, regardless of the pretty pictures on them.  


Basically, it just saves a lot of arguments and makes sure that things are done in a uniform way.  I also have a "noise policy" - no unnecessary noises, a policy on animal cruelty - not allowed in any form, and a policy for when chores need to be done - I don't do "later" or "wait a minute" ever


I think it's helpful for the kids because they know exactly what to expect in certain circumstances, and it also helps me to be more consistent as a parent.  It doesn't stop them from pushing the line, naturally, but it's a lot easier when he's kicking the table leg for the tenth time to calmly say "What is my noise policy?" than to snap "Would you cut out that *#%*@ noise?"


What policies does your house need? 


If you'd like to see previous posts on the subject, click the label at the bottom of this post for a complete list. 


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