Stop by every Thursday for a fresh dose of Smart Money. If you'd like to see past posts on the subject, just click on the Smart Money tag at the bottom of this post.
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OK, I am sick, sick, sick of my hair. I've had it completely stick straight for the last few years and I think I'm ready for a change, but I'm still waffling back and forth. Here is what I look like with straight hair and my famous double cowlicks - hey, that's OK, they match my double chin!
Posted by Adrian's Crazy Life at 9:00 AM
Thought you might want a peek at my September stamp club projects.
Isn't this cute? I've been letting some of my customers design a project every now and then, just to give them a little variety. Sissy came up with these darling little purses using the Big Shot. This isn't Stampin' Up! designer paper or flowers, but it's pretty cute. This blue one is her sample and the next one is the one I made.
There is an event this week over at my favorite blog - The SITS Girls. They are doing Back 2 Blogging and even though they are already on day 3 and I'm just getting started, today's topic was just too tempting. Today, the topic was to re-post a title that you were particularly proud of. I had just re-done my blog design and I chanced to find this purse that matched it perfectly, so that's where this fun title came from.
Posted by Adrian's Crazy Life at 7:18 AM
Let's face it, I am firmly in that category that can be defined as "domestically challenged". Pretty much every female in my family was a super-busy working woman, so my education in the domestic arts was sadly lacking. I had no one to teach me how to cook, or laundry or cleaning tips, etc. Even so, I have managed to teach myself a few things over the years.
This weekend, I got inspired by all the ripe peaches on the trees in our backyard. We have the most lovely peach trees and they give us delicious, juicy softball-sized peaches. Can't let all the yumminess go to waste, so I decided to get busy and make some freezer jam (a first for me!), and a couple of cobblers.
Posted by Adrian's Crazy Life at 10:37 PM
This is going to be one of those soul-searching posts, so better skip on if you don’t like that kind of thing. Something someone said got me thinking today. We are scrambling to get some last minute stuff finished up in time for Blake’s Scout advancement ceremony next week, and one of Blake’s Scout leaders pointed out (rightly so) that I was doing things that Blake should be doing for himself.
I guess the question I’m thinking is where is that fine line between being a supportive parent and being the equivalent of a pushy stage mother? With ADHD kids like mine who struggle with some things that come easier to other kids, it’s hard to know when you should butt the heck out and when you should place your foot firmly in his butt!
The interesting part about our situation is that I’ve had an advance preview with his brother. Matt has ADHD too and he was a Scout too at about this age, but his experience was totally different. He was in a troop that wasn’t nearly as good as this one and none of us (leaders, kids, or parents) took it particularly seriously. It was just a fun activity for him to do for a couple of years. We didn’t push him and he certainly wasn’t interested in doing any of the work for rank or merit badges, so he never rose above his original rank of Tenderfoot. And after a while, he got bored with it and quit. So basically, he never put anything into it and correspondingly, he never got anything out of it.
If we left Blake to his own devices, I’m quite certain that’s exactly what he would do also. He would show up for all the fun stuff like summer camp and campouts and never bother with any of the badges or any of the learning that goes along with Scouting. He might feel a little twinge at awards time when he saw all his buddies getting all their badges and advancement, but it wouldn’t bother him enough to actually get organized enough to go through all the multiple steps required to earn some of those badges.
Some of them are pretty intense – for instance last month, he had to plan a whole weekend’s worth of meals for his patrol of 9 boys, buy all the food (obviously we had to drive him to the store and pay for it), price it out for reimbursement, pack it up, and then cook three of the meals for his whole group! That’s a lot of responsibility for a 12 year old boy, but he pulled it off pretty nicely.
I agree that you shouldn’t DO the stuff for the kid. I despise parents who send their kid to school with a Science Fair project that couldn’t have been completed by anyone with less than a Masters Degree, or send them with a Pinewood Derby car that was obviously completed entirely by the dad. That isn’t teaching them a thing, except how to cheat.
But I do think that it’s OK to set a timeframe for them and require them to meet certain milestones. Typically our policy is that he has to complete one Scout requirement per week as the price of his transportation to the meeting. It hasn’t come to the point where we have had to keep him home from a meeting, but we usually have to remind him a day or so before. But he is the one who has to figure out what he needs to do it, and get the work done. That seems pretty non-smothering to me.
I also think the proof is in the pudding. I look at Matt now at age 21. He has a really good job that he just loves, a nice car (that I helped him pick out – and negotiated $3,000 off the price!), a solid savings account, and is talking about getting his own apartment. If I hadn’t pushed him, and pushed him pretty hard, I don’t think he would have any of those things.
Honestly, I don’t think he would have graduated High School without my help. He was struggling pretty hard and at one time was missing more than 20 assignments in just one class. With struggles like that, College wasn’t even an option, at least not in my opinion, so I talked him into trade school instead. Even there, he was starting to flounder and was about to drop out when I stepped in and set up some weekly deadlines for him. I did have to push him a bit to get busy on the job hunting business, but he did find a fabulous job, and past that, he was on his own. He had to ace the interview, get the job, and then show up every morning at a gawd-awful 7:00 AM, and work hard every day to keep his boss happy.
Yikes, when I look at that, I guess I do see the pushy stage mom there, but what would I have done differently? Let him drop out of High School or get a GED? That wouldn’t have ended well for him. Paid a fortune for college or trade school and just hope for the best after all his struggles in High School? Doesn’t sound like a winning strategy to me. I could have let him skip college altogether, but then he’d likely be working at Hot Topic or some guitar store making minimum wage and on the road to nowhere instead of starting out in a promising career with some marketable job skills (he’s a medical assistant and has several certifications).
I guess the bright spot is that now that he has “made it” at least as much as a 21 year old kid can be expected to, he gets it. He has a lot of pride in his job and earning enough money to afford a nice car and a decent apartment. He realizes that the direction he was headed in wasn’t a good one, and that he wasn’t going to end up with the kind of life he wanted. So when he started his new job, he took his Dad and me out to for a nice dinner as a “Thank you” because he realized all our meddling and pushing had landed him exactly where he wanted to be.
Moral of the story – I haven’t a clue, but I’m a Mom who loves her boys, but is willing to step back from the line and let them stretch their wings a little bit, even if it takes an occasional kick in the butt from me to do it.
PS: Blake did put on that final push and earned his 1st Class Scout rank and he also was voted Assistant Patrol Leader by his patrol members. I'm so proud of him! Also, Matt had his 1st review at work and was ranked Exceeds Expectations in every category. It might have taken a little pushing to get him there, but he's definitely flying solo now and doing a great job of it.
Posted by Adrian's Crazy Life at 5:02 PM