This is my MamaKat's Writer's Workshop prompt. This week I'm writing about good advice I've received.

I honestly believe in the power of words - I think they are literally the most powerful force in the universe. Sometimes that force can have a positive effect, sometimes it can have the opposite effect. That's why you have to be so careful with your words.

I have heard of so many people who have heard an offhand comment about them and it has totally destroyed their self-esteem. I did it to my own son, totally by accident. Years ago, we were talking about the difference between midgets and dwarfs, probably after we had watched Little People, Big World or something. I told him that a midget is someone of short stature, usually under 4'10". However, I left out one very important word - an ADULT of short stature.

Blake's always been a tiny kid - he weighs next to nothing and he's always been the smallest kid in his class. One day, he referred to himself as a midget and I told him not to say things like that. In all seriousness, he said, but I am a midget, I'm under 4'10". Broke my heart. Lord only knows how long he went around thinking he was literally a midget.

On the other hand, I had some good advice that totally shifted my perspective on something forever. A couple of years ago, I worked with a personal coach for a while. It was a great experience for me and I learned a lot from it. The one thing that helped me the most - whenever I was mad at someone or felt that someone had wronged me in some way, she would always have the same question for me:

How can you see them as innocent?

And she would make me stand in that person's shoes and see why they felt they needed to do whatever they had done. No one ever does something that they know is wrong or mean or bad. They always have some excuse, however flimsy, or some reason in their heart that they felt what they did was the right thing to do. You never know what is going on in someone's mind or you never know if someone had a rotten childhood, or just was never taught the right thing, or what.

So if you can give them that little benefit of the doubt, it makes it easier for you. It doesn't mean it's right or that you excuse them for doing the bad thing to you, but it does help.



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