I thought long and hard before posting this post. I usually tend to stick to positive things on my blog, but every once in a while an experience has such a profound effect on me that I have to share it, even if it doesn't present my family in the best light.

What do you think about when you think about shoplifting? Back when I was growing up, it seemed to be a dumb mistake that just about every kid would try at least once. Then they'd get caught, their parents would give them a harsh lecture and then march them back to the store to make things right with the kindly storekeeper. They'd either have to pay for it out of their allowance or do chores to make up the difference.

Yeah maybe back in the 60's or 70's. These days, things have changed a bit. OK, changed a lot, a whole lot!

My son, like a lot of kids, did something dumb. About a year ago, he went to buy an Ipod. He had saved up the money for it over a long time, but he had a friend. His friend told him to come to the place where he worked and he would let him buy the Ipod on his employee discount card so he would save 10% or about $30. Little did he know how much that $30 discount was going to cost him.

Was it wrong? Absolutely. Was it dumb? Definitely. But a lot of people, kids or adults, in the same position would have taken the chance to save the $30.

The result - well, of course the boys were clumsy about it and they got caught. Both of them were taken back into the security area and lectured for half an hour by the security staff. Then they were handcuffed and put into the back of a patrol car and lectured for another half an hour by the cop. Since they were both over 18, they were not allowed to call their parents. Each was charged with a Class B Misdemeanor and required to make restitution to the store before they were allowed to leave - double restitution since they both were required to pay $30. And of course, the friend was fired on the spot.

Now, in my opinion that would have been enough of a lesson for them. However, our lovely justice system was just getting warmed up. They had to go to court and face a judge, never a fun activity. Matt and I both lost a lot of sleep over that one!

The other boy had some previous trouble with the law, so he went with a straight Guilty plea. But Matt had never had any trouble, so after a consulting with a lawyer, we decided to ask the judge for something called a Plea in Abeyance. Supposedly what that means is that the court sets some requirements for you and if you complete them satisfactorily, the charge is removed. But the record of the charge still remains and if you really want to get rid of it, you have to pay a lawyer to get it expunged or removed from your record. However, if you mess up in the slightest way during the term, they pick the book back up and throw it at you.

So here were the terms of the Plea in Abeyance - 1 year's probation with no violations of any kind, even a speeding ticket. Each boy got a $650 fine plus a half day theft prevention class for the cost of an additional $120 (yikes!). Plus, he was not allowed to leave the state without the court's permission for that whole year. Every time we wanted to go on vacation or anything, he would have to go to court and get the judge's permission to go. And at the end of the year, he had to provide his driver's report and his criminal record to prove that he hadn't had any trouble. Fortunately, he was very well behaved during his time and didn't have a whisper of any trouble.

So, here are our costs so far:

$30 restitution
$50 lawyer consultation
$650 fine - paid in $50 payments through the year
$120 class fee
$20 court fee to file the paperwork
$25 to get the DMV report & criminal report
$850 EACH for a $30 theft

Notice I said these are our costs so far. Turns out the justice system wasn't done with us quite yet. The year's probation was just up last week and we hadn't had time to get with the lawyer to start the expungement process.

In the meantime, Matt had just started a new job as a Medical Assistant that he absolutely loved. At double the salary he had been making. He was so proud of himself and we were just delighted. We had even let him buy a new (used) car to get to and from work because his 20 year old Bronco was about to die in our driveway.

Then I got a call from him on Tuesday. You know those calls when you instantly know that something is horribly wrong. Turns out that the HR Dept had gotten wind of the charge and immediately suspended him from work. They said he had lied on his application because he had said (truthfully) that he had never been convicted of any criminal charges - (a plea in abeyance is not considered a conviction, we checked it with our lawyer). They gave him just 5 days to resolve the situation or he would be fired.

At that point, I was freaking out so bad I thought my head would literally explode. I have a history of panic attacks and that is exactly the kind of thing to set one off and my blood pressure was soaring sky high. Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to get on the phone immediately and find a good criminal lawyer.

The lawyer saw us the next morning and gave us some options, and a hefty price tag - $750 to write up the paperwork to get the judge to dismiss the case, appear before the court to file the papers and negotiate with HR to try and get Matt's job back. I'm coming back as a lawyer in my next life!

Fortunately, we were able to get the judge to dismiss the charge, so it would go off his record immediately, and we wouldn't have to pay additional fees for an expungement. However, the employment situation is still a crap shoot.

In talking to one of the HR people at my work, she thinks we have about an 80/20 chance of him being able to keep his job, even with the dismissal. The lawyer thinks we have a slightly better chance, but I wouldn't say it's more than 50/50. Once you have any kind of a criminal charge on your adult record, you haven't a snowball's chance in hell of getting a job at any kind of a decent company.

And what's more, this employer is one of the biggest in the state. If he isn't employable with them, in a market like this, it could take him 3 to 6 months to get a job with one of the smaller hospitals or medical offices, probably at a greatly reduced wage. And in the meantime, he's now got a car payment to pay, plus car insurance and medical insurance since I can't have him on my insurance as a non-student adult.

So, if he does get to keep his job, we are looking at the following costs for that lousy $30 mistake:

$850 - original fines
$750 - lawyers fees
$300 - in lost wages for 5 days
$1900 total and that's IF he gets to keep his job.

If he loses his job, I don't even know how to calculate it. We're talking weeks or even months of lost or greatly reduced wages, and he could even lose his car that he hasn't even made his first payment on. Naturally, we'll help him as much as we can, because I think this is so over-the-top for what he did, but sheesh, we're not made of money either.

So, we should find out tomorrow if the HR people are going to cut him a break or not. Ironically, it's his 21st birthday, so I guess he'll either be out celebrating, or drowning his sorrows. Either way, I can guarantee you, he will not be getting behind the wheel of a car. I don't even want to think about what a serious offense like a DUI would be if you get this much of a penalty for a $30 shoplifting charge.

You know, this has been one damned expensive lesson. Moral of the story - stealing is definitely wrong, it hurts people and causes problems for businesses. There's no doubt about that and you want to impress that upon your kids, but the penalties are so severe that you can no longer even entertain the possibility of your kids getting into trouble like this. TALK to your pre-teens and teenagers about this - now. I don't want them to have to end up learning a hard lesson like this one.

Postscript: We got some very good news this morning, just in time for Matt's birthday. Seems like our lawyer earned his fee. We got a call from HR this morning and they are reinstating Matt effective today and are even paying him for the time he missed. WHEW! I'm glad to have a happy ending at last.



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