I needed to share my Halloween pictures. Parenting by Dummies said so! So here you go:

By TwitterButtons.com

I was surprised that I'd never shared this story before. I guess I usually forget my camera so I didn't have any good pictures before. But anyway, the Kirkin' is a big tradition for me and my boys and we try to make it every year. It's a lot of fun and a lot of other people from our church attend as well. First Presbyterian is a beautiful historic church from around the turn of the century with beautiful architecture and wonderful stained glass windows. I wish I'd brought a video camera because it's pretty amazing to hear all the bagpipes and drums in that sanctuary. Not to mention all the men in those gorgeous kilts. Including my son Matt, who looks pretty good in a kilt if I do say so myself!

By TwitterButtons.com

As part of our United Way effort. See my earlier story here, I coordinated a group of people to spend some time helping out at a couple of local food banks. It was a lot of work, but it was actually really fun!

By TwitterButtons.com

This is my first Writer's Workshop post from MamaKatsLosinIt. She's one of the amazing bloggers I met this weekend and she posts these great writing assignments every week. People write about them and then link back to each other and read each other's posts.

There were several assignments and the one I chose was "How Motherhood Has Changed You".

This was a tough one for me, mainly because I can't hardly remember back that far. I've been a mother or a step mother for nearly all of my adult life - the last 25 years. When I was 24, I was a college student, dating the man who would become my husband. On about the third or forth date, he revealed that he had a son. A two year old son and he had full custody. Ooops!

In order to understand how I felt, you had to understand where I was coming from. I have always been a very non-traditional person, even as a kid. I know most girls grow up wanting to be wives and mommies, and maybe nurses and things like that. I was not.that.girl. I didn't want to be a nurse. I wanted to train lions and tigers for the movies - seriously. I didn't want to get married. No way, no how. It just seemed so ridiculous. People got married and then they got divorced and married someone else. Why go through all the hassle? I figured I'd just have a series of live-in boyfriends, and just love them and leave them. I was a sort of a Jr. Feminist!

And kids. No way in the freakin' world. Keep in mind growing up, I had very minimal exposure to kids. My mom kept me around adults most of the time and I didn't have a lot of friends. I babysat maybe half a dozen times and only for older kids, never for kids under five or so. When I my first son was born, I was 28 years old and had never been alone in a room with a baby in my life. Kids and especially little boys, just seemed like a whiny pain in the butt. I was completely mystified. Why on earth would anyone want to do this? Growing up, I literally don't think I ever once pictured myself as a mother.

However, that left me in a dilemma. I was falling in love with this guy and he had this son. And he made it pretty clear it was a package deal. What can you do? And Ryan was a pretty cute little guy. He'd just turned two and he had soft brown hair and big brown eyes. Tony and I continued to date and eventually we decided to try living together just to see if I could handle the whole wife and mother routine.



Still, getting someone else's child ready-made isn't the same as having your own as a baby. The first morning I had Ryan alone in our new apartment, he pooped his pants. At the kitchen table. And being newlyweds, it wasn't the greatest thing to have a 3 year old around most of the time. But on the other hand, there were times snuggled up with him on the couch watching cartoons together and picking out Halloween costumes and coloring Easter eggs.

I wish I could have made this magical transformation into this fabulous stepmother. I really wish I could say that, but I have to be honest. I was a so-so stepmother. I took good care of him, he was always dressed in clean clothes, fed well, and had plenty of toys. I didn't spoil him, I took a lot of interest in him and helped him with his homework and stuff. But I didn't love him the way I wanted to. I just didn't know how. I think the problem was that I was afraid to touch him or hug him because I knew he wasn't *mine*. I am a very affectionate mother now and I think that was the big difference with my own sons.

Tony would have been perfectly happy with just the one son, but I got it in my head that I might want a girl. Maybe. It was terrifying for someone like me who still wasn't sure if I liked being a Mom. The main thing that worried me was that it was such a permanent change. With a stepchild, you could always get a divorce and they just go away. Once you have your own baby, there's no turning back. So I went about it very scientifically. I took a poll. I asked all the mothers I knew the same question "If you had it to do over again, would you do it?". And with the exception of my mother-in-law (long story!) everyone said the same thing. That it was the best thing they'd ever done.

So when Ryan was nine and Tony and I were in our late 20's, we had our second son Matt. Having my own baby was a whole different ballgame. From the moment he was born, I knew he was totally mine. He looked just like my Dad, acted just like me, and I could (and did) cuddle him as much as I wanted. And he was FUNNY. Who knew? I never knew how hilarious babies can be. They never tell you that when they're telling you all those horror stories about 30 hour labors. They never tell you how babies flirt with you, and giggle so cute, and do things on purpose just to make you laugh. Or how you love to just watch them. Watch them sleep, watch them sneeze, watch how that little lip quivers right before he decides to cry, or how he makes that funny face just like your Dad.



So if I had it to do over again, I'd definitely do it again. In fact, I did. I had Blake yet another 10 years down the road. Which is why I still have an 11 year old after Ryan has made me a grandmother four times over. It's been quite an adventure, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

By TwitterButtons.com

Whrrl was one of our vendors for SITScation. I decided to give it a shot to display some of my photos from this weekend. See how pretty it is. If you have a blog, give it a try. It took me about 15 minutes to put my first slide show together using their easy-to-use software.

By TwitterButtons.com

I know my non-SITS readers are probably getting tired of hearing about this trip, but it was such an amazing event that I just want to share it with you. I think pictures will make it a lot easier for you to understand how cool it was.

Here are the organizers Heather and Tiffany, plus Laurie Turk of Tip Junkie.



Naturally, the big topic was clothes and believe me, there were some VERY sassy outfits going on there, especially during the party. Here are a couple of my outfits.




The one "touristy" thing I managed to do with Matt was to get over to the Mirage to see the white tigers and dolphins. Here are some pictures of the baby white tigers we got to see. They were so cute.




Poor Matt, it was tough being in Vegas, but not being quite 21 yet - he's 3 months away. So he kind of bummed around the strip and did siteseeing and was back in the hotel by 9:30 watching TV and playing on his computer. But I think he had a good time and it was a nice graduation present for him.



By TwitterButtons.com

Today was the main day of the conference and it's a busy day! We had 5 or 6 different speakers lined up and there was so much information given to us, my head was about bursting. We had Sugar Jones of Sugar In the Raw who talked to us about the power of positive blogging. Then the fabulous Laurie Turk of Tip Junkie talked to us about her journey and how she built this amazing network of Mom-preneurs through her site. I've been featured a couple of times on her site and I'll tell you, it brought me a welcome avalanche of visitors. Social networking is more powerful than people imagine.

I remember MamaKatsLosinIt and Angie from 7ClownCircus talking about how to set up repeating events like Writers Workshop and Wordful Wednesday. Gosh I'm wishing I'd taken better notes. My memory is really getting appalling these days.

After a fabulous networking lunch, KeepItClassyJen showed us how to vlog. Sounds really cool, but I'm a little camera shy for that one. Maybe I'll feature the kids or something. Then Alli Worthington came and talked to us about developing your personal brand and presenting yourself to the world and to marketing people, if you choose to go that way. Very good info.

My favorite speaker was Renee at CutieBootieCakes. She talked about building communities and friendships through blogging, which is an issue near and dear to my heart. She is all about welcoming people and making them feel supported and included, which is a big passion of mine. I think because there have been a lot of times when people didn't make me feel that way, I have a real heart for making others feel welcome.

Then we finished it up by having a panel of the more well-known bloggers and answering some questions about what they do. Good stuff!

It was an action packed day and I wish it had lasted much longer, but we had a fabulous time and I met some amazing women. I even won a few bucks at the slot machines. Pretty darn good weekend.




By TwitterButtons.com

Oh my gosh ladies. If they do this again, you need to beg, borrow or steal to get here! The suite at the Venetian is just beyond words. It's so spacious and lovely. I'll post some pictures when I get a minute, but I'm short on time, so I'm just going to do a quick post before I run off to breakfast.

So far, I am just LOVING the conference. The ladies are all so friendly and we had a blast last night at the cocktail party. Everyone was dressed up all sparkly and pretty. Our swag bags were awesome! I've been drinking out of my special filtered water bottle, wearing my Twisted Silver bracelet, nibbling on some of the goodies they gave us and writing with my Nanny Goats in Panties pen! Not everyone can say that, can they?

We had just two brief speakers last night and they were both awesome. Meaghan from IKickedCancersAss spoke about Spirit Jump and was awesome and another ladies (gosh I am blanking on her name - I'm so sorry!) Janine I think, was just speaking about blogging in general and how brave we are to do this and how much a special post can really affect other women (OK men too, but they are few and far between in the world of Mommy Blogging).

Today we get Laurie Turk from Tip Junkie and Alli Worthington of some really big blog, but I can't remember what it is. See how out of the loop I am? I'm really looking forward to some great information and I've got my special notebook all ready to take notes.

Part of the awesomeness is just meeting all these women. It's funny, I was reading Heather and Tiffany's blogs for months before I ever realized they were the SITSgirls. But since I signed up for SITScation, I've been poking around trying to get to everyone's blogs and it's so fun to see the faces behind the blogs I've been reading.

Anyway, gotta dash so I can get a bite. If you are here, I'll be seeing you soon. If you aren't I'll bet you wish you were! Next year. Or I think they are having one on the East Coast soon. Hugs!



By TwitterButtons.com

Well, it's actually SITScation day minus one as we haven't actually gotten there yet. We left this morning, after picking up a new car battery at the auto parts store (sigh). But I guess that's better than having my car not start at some mysterious Las Vegas location. The driving went better than I had thought. I was kind of worried about my son and I driving on our own. My husband usually does about 90% of the driving on our trips, usually while the rest of us sleep. But actually, it went pretty well, despite the fact that Matt had worked until 2:00 in the morning. Matt drove for the first half, then we stopped for some lunch, and I drove the rest of the way.

We decided to economize and stay at a little place we found in Hurricane (prounounced Hurri-cun for some strange reason). It's about 100 miles from Vegas so we'll be there in the morning. It's kind of a nice little place, clean and cozy. It has a pool and a cute little patio with a barbeque. Even a little laundromat. But I'm bored silly and wishing we'd gone ahead and gone the rest of the way into Vegas. Matt and I are both messing around on our laptops and watching movies. So far we've watched Grease, the Ghost Whisperer (well, not a movie), and the last half of Paper Moon, which we both really liked. I'd never seen it all the way through and I'd forgotten what a heartthrob Ryan O'Neal was in his heyday. I was pretty much over him when I heard he had tried to pick up on his own daughter (Tatum!) at Farrah's funeral - ewwwww!

Anyway, I'm all excited for tomorrow. I'm going to get up, get dressed in something cute, just in case I run into any of my new SIStsas and haul butt into Vegas and hopefully get right into our suite at the Venetian! Night night all.




By TwitterButtons.com

Some of you have wondered what this little pink button is on my sidebar. It's been there for such a long time, you've probably tuned it out. One of the most popular blogs out there in the blogworld is The Secret is in the Sauce or the SITS girls. Their blog is all about bringing bloggers together. Every day of the week, they pick out a special blog to feature and then they send hundreds of their followers over there to visit them. I had my special day on the day before Christmas and I got more than 100 comments that day. It was a great Christmas present for my blog!

Then on the weekends, they do all sorts of special stuff like sponsoring contests and featuring "Mom-preneurs" who have home made stuff to sell. It's just just a great way for women to connect with each other. (Yeah, it's mostly women, although you do find the occasional guy lurking around there.)

Now they are taking it a step further with an in-person event called SITScation. This weekend (yes, I can hardly believe it's finally here!), they will be bringing together 200 of their most enthusiastic ladies for a fabulous event in Las Vegas! Yes, Las Vegas, where we will be staying at fabulous suites at the Venetian. There will be some fabulous speakers from some of the top bloggers, a great party with some awesome swag bags, and just lots of networking and getting to know ladies from all around the country.

Matt is graduating from his medical program this week, so I decided to go ahead and bring him along for something of a graduation present. It's kind of a shame that he doesn't turn 21 for another 3 months, but even if he can't drink or gamble, I figure he'll have a good time hanging out at the hotel or bumming around seeing the sites while I'm doing my thing. And besides it will be nice to have someone to help with the driving. Neither one of us has ever driven more than 100 miles by ourselves, so that should be a bit of an adventure. Tony usually does all the driving on our trips, while the rest of us sleep!

I'm sure you're wondering why I'm taking my son instead of my husband, but little kids aren't invited and we didn't have anyone else to watch Blake, so Tony gets to do the Mister Dad thing for a change. I figure with 200 women, I can't get into too much trouble.

Naturally with a big bunch of women, the big issue is what to wear. I've been trying on different outfits, shoes, jewelry, etc trying to find just the right look, especially for the big dressy party on Friday night. I think I've found some good outfits, but I don't want to jinx it by taking pictures because I know if I see picture of myself in them, I won't like them any more. Like anyone, it's easy to get all self-conscious and critical of yourself, especially when you're meeting a bunch of new people.

But I know I'm going to have a great time. I always meet a new group of ladies every year for the Stampin' Up! Convention and I always have a blast then, so I'm sure this will be a very memorable weekend. I'll be bringing my laptop and camera, so hopefully I'll be able to post live updates on the fly. Maybe my husband will even read my blog - for once! Just to see what mischief I'm getting up to!



By TwitterButtons.com

Friday was my birthday (yay, Happy Birthday to me). Yep, 29 again! So my friend Carol sent me these rejects from the Hallmark company:

By TwitterButtons.com

I don't know why I've never brought this up on my blog before, but how are you on home security? This is the voice of experience talking. We've been burglarized more times than we can count - seriously. And now I am a nut case about home security.

When we moved into this house, the very first thing we did was go through and update the locks on all the doors and replace the louvered back door with a solid one. The people who lived here before were amazingly careless. They didn't have a deadbolt on their side garage door and they never locked their inside door between the garage and the house. That is an absolute must for me. Sure it's more convenient to just go from the garage to the house, but in one of our burglaries, the people figured out the code to our garage door opener, pulled their car into our garage, then closed the door and spent 20 minutes filling up their car with everything that wasn't nailed down. Including my baby's diapers and beer from our fridge.

And when we are in the market for a new house, I always look at them with an eye towards security. In at least three of our robberies, including the one above, we were on a corner lot, one that was isolated from the others and didn't have good visibility. Ever since then, my houses have all been smack in the middle of the block with fenced yards all around. That gives you a lot more safety since multiple neighbors would be able to see into your yard and house.

I know what you're thinking - but we live in a GOOD neighborhood. Tell me, if you were a crook, where would you go shopping for stuff to steal? On the poor side of town? I don't think so. You'd want to go over to the good side of town where they've got all the nice stuff. The burglary from the garage took place in a very nice suburb of Salt Lake City, one of the safest and nicest cities in the US. However, I will admit that all the previous ones happened when we lived in Santa Ana, California which is pretty much the armpit of the earth. I would say that was about 50% of our reason for moving to Salt Lake because we knew we would be able to afford a much nicer neighborhood.

Part of the problem was that they added a homeless shelter in two blocks away from our house. If they ever want to do that in your neighborhood, fight them for all you are worth. I don't have anything against homeless people, but the problem is there's nothing to keep them busy and you end up with them roaming around the neighborhood all day causing problems. There were several times when we would find them in our yard. They would duck behind our block wall to go to the bathroom - ewwww! One time we found that one of them had been cooking his dinner on our barbecue. Another time, we found a guy rinsing off in our sprinklers. I'll never forget the day when I walked out my front door to go to work and found a guy browsing through my trash can looking for breakfast. I had my baby in my arms and I was so freaked out, I don't think I even put him in his car seat. I put him next to me in the car and we locked the doors and got the heck out of Dodge!

We tried just about everything. Double deadbolts, bars on the windows, steel security doors. They still got in. One time someone left an old wooden headboard out for the trash. You know those old wooden ones with the turned wooden spindles on them? They took that, turned it sideways and used it as a ladder. Then they must have taken a kid and boosted him up because he got through a bathroom window that wasn't a foot high and was about 10 feet off the ground. Yes, drug addicts can be very determined if they want to rob you. But usually they go for the easy in/easy out method.

One time we helped a homeless man. One of these "will work for food" types. We had some yard work, so we paid him to help us. Yeah, that was a big mistake. He came back a few weeks later and robbed our house. He was on foot, so he couldn't carry much, so he came back the next day and robbed it again. He was just a little guy, so he took a heavy cement block and battered it through our steel security door. And the next door neighbors saw a man coming out of our house carrying a stereo, but they wouldn't call the police because they were illegal immigrants and they were too afraid.

Give money to homeless shelters all you want, but helping the individuals directly could be a big mistake. That made us an ideal target. He knew what our cars looked like, what our work schedules were, and had a pretty good idea of what we had in our home. When someone is seeking money for drugs, they will victimize anyone in their path with very little remorse.

For a while, we felt like we weren't buying things, we were just renting them between robberies. Fortunately, we had insurance so we could replace most of the things, but there were a lot of things that were irreplaceable. Our class rings, our original wedding rings, other jewelry and things that only had sentimental value. And we never got a thing back. The police did catch one ring of thieves, but our stuff had been long gone by then. They would put everything from several robberies in a truck and take it down to Mexico to sell on the black market.

Now I'm not telling you all this to scare you, although I'm sure it does scare you. I'll tell you, it's a horrible feeling to know that someone really creepy has been in your house, going through your stuff and taking it away from you. You just never feel the same in your house and you never quite feel safe again. Our last incident was more than 15 years ago and it still makes me quake inside. Especially since I was home alone taking a shower just 20 minutes before it happened. That could have had a very nasty ending, but fortunately, an angel must have been watching over me because I left for a job interview right before the burglary happened, but it freaks me out that they were probably watching my house when I left.

Most people think "it will never happen to me". I used to think that too. I think everyone you see in the newspaper every day thought the same thing, but sometimes it does happen to you and all you can do is do your best to protect your family and learn the lesson. Here are the lessons I've learned:

- Lock every door every time. It's a pain, but it's worth it
- Always lock your car and never leave the keys in it, even if it's in the garage. Some neighbors of ours did that while they were unloading their groceries and someone took their car right out of their garage. Fortunately, she had brought the baby in for his nap first, or they might have gotten the baby. Chilling....
- Window locks. Get them. They're like 2 bucks a piece. Get them and put them on every window. Ours can open a few inches and that is plenty for ventilation.
- Deadbolts are your friend. Every outside door should have them and especially the garage. That's a favorite target.
- Keep a radio or TV going when you're not home. Burglars usually don't want to hurt anyone, they just want your stuff. If they think someone might be home, they will usually pass you by.
- If a stranger comes to the door don't answer it. But find a way to make enough noise to let them know someone is home. If you must talk to someone at the door, don't count on a chain lock to protect you. It takes half a second to kick in a door. I go out into the yard to talk to them where I am in full sight of the neighbors. If worst comes to worst, I figure I can always scoot under my car to get away from someone. It's almost impossible to drag someone out from under a car and you can be screaming your head off the whole time.
- Keep your drapes and mini blinds closed. Don't leave electronic or video game boxes in your trash. You don't want to advertise what you have.
- If you suspect your house has been broken into, don't go in. Back right out and go to a neighbor's to call the police. You don't want to surprise a robber.
- Invest in good motion lights and walk around your property looking for areas that are dark or hidden by bushes or fences. I never understand why people turn their porch lights off when they go to bed. That is when you want lights burning the most. Although now that I think about it, all of our robberies happened in broad daylight. Between 10 and 2 is the most likely time because most people are at work or school then.
- GET.A.DOG. Even if it's a runty little chihuahua as long as it will bark, it is your best protection. The police told us that again and again, but in California, we weren't in a place where we could have one. We have had one ever since. A big one. Although St. Bernards are not the best watch dogs. They are just too darn friendly. But at least they are big and intimidating and we've never had a problem since we've had one. Knock on wood!

Be vigilant and be safe!



By TwitterButtons.com

are you suitably impressed? Yes, I'm sure that most of you have NO clue what that means. I didn't either until my dentist explained it to me. You see, most people have a perfectly smooth tongue - kind of like a Berber carpet, only pink. But when you have a geographic tongue, it's more like a high/low shag carpet. Seems to run in my family. I know my son Matt has it too and I suspect my husband does too. I guess I never bothered to look.

Apparently when you have this kind of tongue, it means that flavors affect you more intensely than most people. That actually explains a lot. I always thought I was just a picky eater. I like the blandest of bland foods. Anything the least bit spicy or sour or sharp tasting is almost inedible to me. It's so painful that I never could understand why people seemed to actually enjoy eating hot and spicy food. It probably isn't as big a deal to them.

This has led to some interesting situations. I always have to look at restaurant menus very carefully and being invited over to someone's house can be quite an adventure. Usually I'm able to just load up on bread and things, but it's hard to get through some meals without appearing rude. Last year, I had a chance to go to Africa to go visit a church we sponsor over there. I never even considered it. What if I had to eat some kind of really strange African food? These are poor people, you can't just refuse, and I'm not a good enough actress to be able to pretend to enjoy it convincingly. I never realized how limiting it is because it's just second nature to me.

We had one situation that was pretty interesting. We have some friends who are gourmet cooks and wine experts. My husband did some work on their wine cellar and they wanted to thank him by inviting us over for a gourmet dinner. Well, naturally I panicked and made excuses, but after several invitations, I could tell that they were puzzled and a little hurt, so we finally accepted so as not to hurt their feelings. I'm sure to most people this would be a fabulous night to look forward to, but for me, it was like walking into the lion's den!

I honestly don't remember what all they served us, but it has some kind of raspberry-walnut vinaigrette, and there was some kind of purple stuff, and some other kind of yellowy-brown stuff, and some kind of cranberry vodka and about 3 different kinds of wines. It was sheer torture for me. At one point during the salad course, my taste buds literally went into a spasm and I had to push my tongue very hard on the roof of my mouth to get it to unkink! It was funny because they were sneering about some friend of theirs who had dared bring a Sara Lee cheesecake to one of their little get-togethers. And I was thinking to myself that I would KILL for a bit of Sara Lee cheesecake and some Stouffers meatloaf, and some mashed potatoes right out of the box. Maybe some green beans and some good old corn. Now that's my idea of a gourmet meal, not all that fancy, dancy stuff.

So, if you ever have me over to your house for dinner, don't feel like I'm rude or anything, it's just my bizarre tongue talking....




By TwitterButtons.com

Remember my earlier post about my United Way fundraiser? Well, I guess doing a good deed pays off once in a while. One of the leaders had some extra tickets to A Chorus Line and she gave me a pair as a "thank you" for my help. I was SO pleased. Chorus Line is one of my favorite musicals and I had even asked my husband for tickets for my birthday next week. Fortunately, he's a procrastinator and hadn't bought them yet. (Now I guess I get to pick something else. Probably something cute to wear for SITScation in two weeks!)

He had to take Blake to Scouts, so I called around to my "peeps" to see who wanted to go. My friend Bonnie was delighted to go. She's also my Realtor and she works like a dog 24 X 7, so I was glad to take her out for a bit of fun. She'd heard some of the music, but hadn't ever seen the show, so I told her she was in for a treat.



We got there late, so we got great seats. They were in the very back row, but it was great. We didn't have anyone to either side of us and no one in the row in front of us, so we were able to stretch out and relax. That's so much nicer than sitting squished up next to a bunch of strangers. And we could whisper and giggle with each other without bothering anyone. Yes, I am THAT person. I try to be quiet about it, but I just can't refrain from little snippy asides to my companions during a movie or a show and I have gotten a few glares and shushes from time to time!

It brought back a lot of great memories. As I shared in an earlier post, I was a Performing Arts Major all through school. You name it, I did it - singing, dancing, acting, stage crew, musical instruments, the whole enchilada. Until a rotten Nazi perfectionist of a choir leader booted me out of his choir, which totally broke my heart and destroyed my confidence. By the following semester, I had transferred over to the Computer Science program and I never looked back.

I can't say that I really miss it because I think my life would have turned out so much differently if I'd followed that path, and I really do love dinking around with computers all day. I can't imagine doing anything else for a living, but those days were sure a lot of fun and I made some wonderful friends that I wish I'd kept in touch with.

There's something about performing together that seems to make for some very close friendships, and it was a crazy time. I would go to my High School classes in the mornings, College classes in the afternoons, then I would go off and work for a couple of hours, and then be back in the evenings for rehearsals and performances. I remember one point where we were closing out one show and pulling together another one and I literally worked a 20 hour day. Sounds exhausting, but that's totally my vibe. I think I'm happiest when I'm going 90 miles an hour with my hair on fire!

It was good for my physically too. All that dancing and climbing up and down ladders and wrestling sets around was really good for your body. I remember climbing around on a catwalks 30 feet in the air, hauling lights around and being totally fearless. I guess teenagers are just like that. I don't think I could do that now. Some things are best left to the young, I think.



By TwitterButtons.com