If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know that we've had some problems with bullying at Blake's school. Well, it's really gotten out of hand, and I am totally at a loss for what to do about it. I've reported it to the teacher and to the Principal every time and I think they really have made some efforts to get this under control. There have been several boys who have been sent to the office, had their parents called, or have even been put on suspension for the things they've done to him, but that just doesn't stop them! It's really baffling. Blake is this sweet kid who just wants to be friends and these other kids (who are all bigger than he is) just nail him for all they are worth and at every opportunity. What the heck is wrong with these kids??

I think I understand at least a little bit why Blake is getting picked on. He's quite a bit smaller than most of the other kids and he does act very immature a lot of the time. In a lot of ways, he's more like an 8 year old than a 10 year old and I think kids pick up on that. And he can be VERY persistent sometimes. I get annoyed with him sometimes too, but there's not an ounce of aggression in him, even though he's a red belt in Karate and could probably defend himself adequately if he cared to. But he's just not that way. He's just not aggressive and he just doesn't understand why these kids are giving him such a hard time. I don't either.

We will just get one kid under control and then another one will start up. This one kid has been really bad as you'll see in this letter I sent to the Principal. In fact, they are trying to get him removed from the school, but the Principal didn't think the district would do it because he hadn't used a weapon. Oh gee, let's wait until it gets that bad, why don't we?

So this kid totally nailed Blake on the playground the other day. He was kicking him and really going after him for no particular reason so they called in his parents and gave him a two day suspension. BUT, they still let him participate in the 5th grade Science Fair, and his parents let him attend the school's Skate Night on Friday night. I'll say it again - after this kid had been made to stay home from school on both Thursday and Friday because of his unrelenting bullying of my son, they LET HIM go to this fun skate night with his classmates on Friday night. Well, I'm sure glad these parents took this punishment seriously! If my kid had acted up that badly to get literally kicked out of school, he sure as heck wouldn't be out there roller skating with all his friends. In fact, he would be lucky to see daylight for weeks!

So of course, Blake was there and this damned kid takes the first opportunity he can to push Blake down off one of the bouncy things and knocks him into some little girl who immediately starts to cry and her Mom gets all mad at Blake for hurting her. Now, I'm supposed to send my son to school on Monday with this kid in the same classroom with him and it's obvious that not one thing has changed. I'll tell you, I am just fit to be tied.

I'm seriously thinking about calling the police and pressing assault charges against this kid. I mean, you'll see what I mean when you read the letter. This is some pretty serious bullying. The Principal even suggested that I might want to consider moving MY son to another school. I'm like HELL NO! Why do you want to move my kid away from his teacher that he likes and all his friends? Make the other kid move -the one who is breaking all the rules and causing the problem, not the kid who is just trying to do his thing and not bothering anyone.

Here is the letter I sent to the Principal (the name has been changed to protect the kid, not that I think he's innocent!)

Dear Principal,

As you requested, I quizzed Blake about the incident today. It does sound like it was a fairly serious incident. Blake was playing on the playground, pretty much minding his own business when Sam pushed him to the ground. Then when he got up, another boy grabbed him by the shoulders, threw him to the ground and tried to hold him for Tom. He was the one who dared Tom to kick Blake. Blake managed to pull away from the other boy, but Tom caught him and kicked him as hard as he could four different times in the shin and in the thigh. There is a visible bruise on his thigh, but I wasn't sure about the shin.

While I had the subject going, I decided to have Blake help me make a list of the abuses he has suffered from Tom. I'm glad I did because I've discovered quite a few incidents that I was not previously aware of. Even though Tom has been repeatedly warned by everyone in authority at your school, he does not seem to be able to control himself where Blake is concerned. My husband and I are extremely concerned and I think you will be too when you see the extent of what has been going on. I asked Blake why he had not reported all of these incidents and he said that he was afraid of retaliation from Tom if he reported them and that he has just been trying to ignore them. But I think it has gone way past things that can be ignored.

We have reported the previous multiple incidents of Tom kicking Blake in the privates and pinching his chest (Texas Titty Twisters), as well as the repeated taunting and teasing. This kicking seems to be a game he likes to play called "Blake Fishing". He kicks Blake repeatedly in the shins, then when Blake gets up to defend himself, he kicks him hard in the back of the knee causing him to fall. He has also jabbed him in the head with a pencil and tried to stab him with a stapler. On Monday, he grabbed Blake for no reason and flung him into a puddle of mud. He came home covered in mud and he said the teacher had seen it, but didn't intervene. There were other boys playing in the mud, so I'm going to assume that she thought they were just playing, but Blake was pretty upset over it.

Here are the incidents we were not aware of: Tom calls him names - stupid, Michael Jackson (apparently trying to imply that Blake is gay), and Fucker. He also frequently flips him off and Blake said that Tom has been "humping" him - rubbing his privates against Blake and moving his hips in a suggestive manner. This is sexual assault, plain and simple. He has also drawn sexually explicit pictures of Blake. Blake said that Tom had drawn pictures of him with his penis exposed and another picture of him with breasts and his penis torn off and held in his hand. I can't even tell you how shocked I am about that - I am physically sick to my stomach as I write this.

Blake said that his teacher had seen this picture. He had grabbed it from Tom and tore it up and that was when Tom tried to stab him with the pencil and Blake retaliated. Apparently this was a day with a substitute and she sent both boys to "think time", which I think was a pretty mild punishment for something like that and I'm a little angry that Blake was punished as well since he was only defending himself. Apparently the substitute notified the teacher of the problem and she directed Tom to retrieve the picture from the trash and tape it back together and show it to her. The teacher did send me an E-mail that there had been a "problem" with Tom that day, but I thought she was talking about the kicking "game" and that Blake had retaliated. No one said anything to me about these pictures and Blake was apparently too embarrassed to tell me. I'd like to know where these pictures ended up and what punishment was levied against Tom for this other than sending him to "think time" (turns out he was sent home from school and the picture was shown to his parents - who reportedly were "horrified"). If they are still available, I would like them to be shown to the School Board and the Nova officer.

Obviously Tom has some serious problems and I don't think I'm being out of line to say that I don't want him anywhere near my son. If Blake were a girl, we would be talking sexual harassment charges. If the school board doesn't think that incidents like this are cause enough to have Tom removed from the school, I don't know what they could be thinking. I am not about to sit back and wait for my son to be physically or psychologically hurt by this boy. Between this and the numerous other bullying incidents he has experienced since he has been at your school, I just don't know what to think or what is the right thing to do to protect my child.

Adrian

Now I'm looking at Monday morning and I don't even know what to do. Do I send him to school on Monday morning with this kid just waiting in the classroom waiting to start this all up again? Do I keep him out of school until we get this solved? Do I just trust that the suspension has done had an effect on this kid? I wouldn't think so based on how we was acting at the skating event. Do I go over the Principal's head and go to someone at the School Board? I don't even know who to talk to there. Based on everything this kid has done, would it be going overboard to look into pressing charges against him? I don't even know.

This kid apparently comes from a pretty good family. He's a nice looking, clean cut kid, and his parents both look like nice people. The Principal said that they were very upset by all this and that they felt really bad for Blake, but I noticed they haven't bothered to call us and apologize or anything, which I would certainly be doing if my kid had treated another boy so badly. And like I said, I certainly wouldn't have let my kid participate in either the Science Fair or the Skate Night, so I don't know if they are taking this all that seriously. I know most parents would. I don't know, but if someone else has experienced a bullying situation like this, I'd sure like to know what worked for you.

Postscript - Well, we have had somewhat of a happy ending. There was a district hearing and the boy was apparently expelled. Due to privacy concerns, the school couldn't actually tell us what had happened, or what school he had been sent to, but one of the other teachers confirmed that he was expelled. It kind of makes me sad for the boy and his family, but what can you do? I had to protect my son and this kid obviously had some problems going on. Hopefully this was enough of a wakeup call that these parents will do whatever is necessary to get this boy back on track. Hopefully Blake will have an uneventful rest of the school year.

This is a meme my niece Kristen tagged me with on Facebook. I posted it there, but why waste a good blog post. I like to get plenty of mileage out of my words!

You're supposed to tag 25 people, but I think that's too many. I'll just tag a few:

Carrie at Candid Carrie
Rhea at Texas Word Tangle
Rita at L8dybug Stamper

1. I really LOVE my boys. They all drive me crazy some times, but I really love them. I can't ever die because no one else would love them as much as I do.
2. Seriously afraid of guns and motorcyles. I know 6 people (all men) who've died in motorcycle accidents and almost as many who've been killed or wounded with guns.
3. I've been on two cruises and if this economy ever straightens out I'm going to start saving for another one. I just love them.
4. I have 3 cats and I've had more than 20 cats in my lifetime. Got my first one for my 6th birthday.
5. I have two Tivos and I watch WAAAY to much TV.
6. I love computers and I'm really good at them. I've taught classes off and on for years. I've used Excel since it was invented, literally.
7. I was a pretty good student and I started Community College when I was 15 years old. I was kind of mature though, so no one knew I was 15 and I wasn't about to tell them.
8. Zig Ziglar is my hero! I've got a ton of his books and tapes and I get his newsletter every week.
9. I'm a book worm through and through. Love to read. I have separate sections in my bookshelf for Science Fiction, Romance, Religious, and Self-Improvement books.
10. I don't have any of the "normal" phobias - snakes, spiders, mice are no big deal at all. But put water on my face or show me a razor blade and I freak.
11. I have two different blogs and a website. I spend a LOT of time on the computer, both at work and at home. We have more computers than people at our house. How nerdy is that?
12. Before I got married, I used to go out dancing and drinking at the Cowboy and places like that almost every night. I met my husband at the Cowboy back when it was famous during the Urban Cowboy phase.
13. I've been an extra in several different movies - a TV special at Disneyland with Alabama, a movie with Courtney Cox, Debbie Reynolds, and Suzanne Pleshette. My parents were extras too. I was at a company dinner and they showed a commercial clip - there goes my Mom dancing across the screen. I could have DIED!
14. My favorite dinner - corned beef and cabbage. Strange, huh?
15. In college, I was a Performing Arts major. Singing, dancing, acting, stage management, playing instruments, I did it all, but none of it very well! Didn't stick with it, but I still sing in the choir at church sometimes.
16. Thinking about getting a tattoo. I love Celtic knot designs and I have a celtic knot ring I just love. I'd like to have it done up as a tattoo, but I'm probably too chicken!
17. I'm kind of psycho about money. I hate to be in debt and I have saved at least 5% of every paycheck I've ever gotten. Doesn't mean I don't spend it later, but it at least gets into the bank and some of it stays there.
18. I am a HUGE fan of the Olympics, both Winter and Summer. When they come on, I block out the whole two weeks. When the Olympics came to Utah, I just WALLOWED in it! I volunteered as a Mascot, I did pin trading, I went to events, I was just beaming the whole time! My best moment was when I got to tour the Olympic Village and meet all the athletes.
19. I have a whole shelf of chick flicks. Whenever I'm depressed, I start at one end and start working my way to the other.
20. I am subject to terrible panic attacks. When I get worried about something, I'm a basket case. I can't sleep, can't breathe, and can't concentrate. If I ever had something really bad happen to me, I think I'd die from just the sheer fright of it.
21. I get along much better with men than with women. I've had some friendships really blow up in my face and I think I'm a little gun shy with making new friends. I used to have a lot of gay friends in college (obviously, I was a performing arts major!). I kind of miss them now. They're kind of a cross between girlfriends and buddies.
22. I'm double jointed. I can bend my fingers back almost double and I can rotate my elbows almost all the way around. Blake and Matt are too.
23. My husband is LOUD. I mean really LOUD and he gets on my nerves sometimes. But he's got a heart of gold and he'd give you the shirt of his back. Whenever we lose a pet, even a hamster, he's a basket case.
24. My biggest struggle is consistency. I just do not seem to have the ability to do the same thing any two days in a row. Drives me up the friggin' wall!
25. I am the anti-Christ of sports and the Patron Saint of lost causes. I will ride the dead horse clear into the ground and beyond. And as for sports, I never have a CLUE who is playing in the Superbowl, World Series, or the Basketball championships, even if I happen to be watching them. I just don't CARE people!

(This is part 2 of my parents wedding story)

I think the thing that amazed me about my Mom was her amazing determination. I don't know what I would have done in that situation. But such was her strength of will that only one person ever dared suggest to her that she should "take care" of the situation and that was her stepfather and she never forgave him for it. She wanted me and she wasn't going to let anything or anyone stand in her way.

So she had me. The only hitch was that I was a girl. She had an idea fixed in her mind that if I were a boy, that was the one thing that might tempt my Dad to leave his wife, if he had a son to carry on the family name. And of course back then, they didn't have ultrasounds and all the fancy ways to tell the sex of the baby. So she was bound and determined that I was going to be a boy. How do you think I got a boy's name? And when the doctors told her that she had a daughter, she told them no, thank you very much but would they please go and get her SON? I guess she argued with them for quite a while, but when they finally brought me in, she changed her mind pretty quickly. My grandmother's summation - "All she needs is whiskers and she'd look just like that S-O-B". (I have been told that there is a pretty strong resemblance and my oldest son Matt is a carbon-copy of him.)

When she brought me home from the hospital, was pretty much on her own. I don't know if my Dad was living nearby or not, I think he wasn't. I think her mother and her stepfather were supportive, but I don't know if she had anyone else in her corner. My Dad was in and out of the picture and kept a pretty low profile due to the scandal factor. My half sister was 12 and her father was long gone as well, so it was just the three of us for the most part, but we were pretty content, and I remember having a pretty happy and very normal childhood.

She didn't even make him pay child support, which is something I would have done very differently. But she worked multiple jobs to keep us afloat and rarely, if ever asked him for anything, even though he was pretty well off and could easily have afforded it. He was the only man I ever knew who didn't need to cash his paychecks. He'd hang onto them until he had 4 or 5 of them and then Accounting Department would finally make him put them in the bank.

She finally asked him for some money when I was in the 5th grade because she couldn't afford to pay my babysitter. And then he paid without complaint from then on until I was in college, but it was only $80 a month and he never raised it from there. He wasn't a bad guy, but he didn't have much imagination and he paid exactly what she asked because he never really thought to offer more. Or maybe he was a little cheap and was relieved to get off so easy. I don't know. He was half Scots, after all.

Now that I'm an adult and I know how hard it is to manage a household without two incomes, I really admire her for all those years of raising us as a single mother. That's pretty amazing. We did live pretty simply, mostly in apartments without a lot of fancy extras, but we always had plenty of clothes, and food, and books, and everything else we needed, and a little bit extra to take frequent trips to go visit my sister or other relatives.

This went on through my whole childhood. Some times she would decide to make a clean start, so we'd move far away from him, but then she'd get lonesome for him, or worry about me growing up without a father, so she'd move us closer to him. There were times in my childhood when I saw him every week and other times when I'd only see him once or twice a year. It was kind of a strange way to grow up. And because of the continuing scandal factor, we had to keep a pretty low profile. My Mom had one good friend, a crazy old cat lady named Zelda, that we kept in pretty close touch with, but other than that, I don't remember us having company over, or having other friends or family around.

As I said, my grandmother died when I was six. Actually it was a lot more than that. My sister got married early and had her first child right away. So my grandmother died, my nephew was born, and I started Kindergarten all on the same day. Wow, that had to have been some kind of a day! I know my Mom never really got over the loss of her mother at such a young age. She was only 63 and had suffered from cancer for several years. And my sister was married to a man in the Navy, so she had moved hundreds of miles away to San Diego. My Dad was already living in Long Beach, so that was one of the times we moved to be near him, because my Mom was feeling so alone after the loss of her mother and with my sister so far away.

Naturally as a child, I was clueless about the whole situation. I don't remember thinking it was at all unusual for Daddy not to live with us, or that I never got to go to his house or talk to him on the phone. It never would have occurred to me to pick up the phone and call him in any situation. In fact, I only remember one time in my entire childhood when I called him on the phone. I was a teenager and my car had broken down somewhere and I couldn't reach my Mom, so I had to call him at the office. He came and got me, but I could tell he was very uncomfortable that I had called his office.

I was told they were divorced and I accepted that without question. After all, how was I to know that other divorced parents didn't get together for weekly dates? I had no basis for comparison. It wasn't until I was 15 or 16 that one of my friend's mothers who was recently divorced herself, questioned why my "divorced" father spent so much time at my house. Then I started putting two and two together and started asking some questions. I think Mom was relieved to finally tell me the whole story and I was completely supportive of her decision, although in retrospect, it might have been a good thing if she had married some nice man who would have been around more for the both of us. But it is what it is and that wasn't the choice she made.

Finally, when I was in my 20's, my father's wife began to have some health problems in addition to the mental illness. She had several surgeries and was hospitalized several times and those were the only times my father had the opportunity to come and stay with us for a few days. I remember very clearly the first time I had breakfast with him - I was 21 and in college and it was one of the rare times we'd ever had a chance to sit down and talk with just the two of us. I think in our whole lives we were only alone together maybe 6 or 7 times. It was kind of a strange way to grow up.

It was also strange to know that they were waiting for her to die so they could get married after all these years, but that was essentially the only way you could put it. She finally did die when I was about 25. They had been married for 43 years and he had been with my Mom for most of it.

Their wedding was quite a special occasion. They got married at my cousin's house in San Diego. By that time, my cousin was more like a sister to me. She was living clear across the country from her mother, so my Mom, being my Mom, pretty much adopted her. We've since fallen out of touch, but we used to spend a lot of time with her family and they put together a wonderful wedding in her backyard. Both my sister and I were there and a handful of other relatives and friends, then afterward we had a small reception at a local restaurant.

Having both my parents in the same house was kind of strange for a while. I was married by then and living in my our first apartment, but it took a little getting used to, to have a full-time Dad around. When I did get married, I insisted that both my parents walk me down the aisle. There was no way that I felt my father deserved that honor by himself after my Mom had worked so hard to raise me mostly on her own. He didn't say so, but I think he agreed with me.

After all that, my parents were only able to enjoy seven years of married life. He was 10 years older than my Mom, so he was in his early 70's when they got married and though he had lived a pretty healthy life, he had a stroke when he was 80 and sadly he only survived a month after his stroke. It was tough on my Mom and we were both very sad about it, but she said that she'd never expected to have any of those years with him, so she felt that those seven years was a pretty good deal. I think that's a pretty good example of true love, to wait for 30 something years for a man and then still be happy when you only have seven years of togetherness to show for it.

She's been gone now for 4 years, so I hope they've found each other again and are enjoying their time together in heaven. I love you Mama and Daddy and I miss you both terribly, but I hope you're happy together at last.

This is a picture of my wonderful parents on their wedding day. In case you're thinking that it looks a little more recent than the typical parent's wedding picture, you're quite right. You see, this picture was taken when I was 26 years old.

I am what used to be called a "love child". Yes, I was born out of wedlock, an illegitimate child. Now I know that doesn't seem very shocking now, but when you're talking the early sixties and in Salt Lake City of all places, and when you consider that my Mom was a "good girl" from a mostly Mormon family, it's pretty shocking stuff. But I prefer to think of it as a wonderful love story.

My parents met in about 1955, I think. They both worked in the same insurance office - my Dad as an agent and my Mom as an adjuster. She would have been 30 and he was 40. She had already been married and divorced - another no-no in those days, and had my older sister, who would have been about 7 or 8. My Dad was a married man, but his wife suffered from extreme mental illness, so she was in and out of hospitals her whole life, and while he never spoke of their time together, I'm sure it was very difficult. I know that in later years, he did all the cooking and laundry, and most of the housework, so I suspect she was barely functional.

So, they met at work and eventually fell in love with each other and began a love affair that would last for the next 40 years. About 5 years in to it, they had a little slip up with the birth control and my Mom found out she was pregnant with me. I really can't imagine how stressful that must have been for her. I know she was already getting flak from a lot of different directions for being involved with my Dad. My sister tells me that the neighbors wouldn't allow their children to come over and play and I know that several family members were very upset about her being involved with a married man. I can't imagine how much ostracism she would have faced by having a baby on top of all that.

It wasn't much better for my Dad either. Obviously his wife needed him, not only for financial support, but for her day-to-day care and he just didn't feel like he could leave her to marry my mother. I guess he would have been considered a cad either way, so he chose the easier path, to stay with his wife, and continue to keep the affair a secret. In fact, he kept it so secret that no member of his family knew about me until my parents actually got married. And by then, I had missed out on the opportunity to meet either of my grandparents because they were long gone by then. That was kind of sad and I really held that one against him. My maternal grandmother died when I was six from esophageal cancer, so I felt very short-changed in the grandparent department and I resented it bitterly.

To be continued....

Anyone who has been reading this blog for long should know what a TV junkie I am. I am the only person I know who has not one, but TWO Tivo units and I give those babies a run for their money! In addition to all the other garbage I watch, I have several family oriented shows that I like to watch. They're all on the same channel - I think it's the Lifetime channel, but that's the beauty of Tivo, I don't even need to know that to record them!

Little People, Big World - This show is a lot of fun and the kids really enjoy watching their kids and how much fun they have on the farm. I love to watch Matt and Amy because they're so much like Tony and I. He's always trying to fix stuff and make things better for their family and she's always in the background sniping at him about it and nagging him to finish the projects they've started. Plus, she's a terrible housekeeper and it's funny to see the kids all rooting around in the piles of laundry trying to find their clothes and things.

Jon & Kate Plus Eight - This show is fascinating in a completely different way. It's kind of fascinating to see them try to cope with all these kids without completely flying apart. One of the older twins (Maddie?) is a complete brat and some of the little ones are kind of a pain too. I think the big attraction is the interaction between the Mom and Dad. She's kind of snarky and a complete control freak and he's just kind of beaten down and hopeless. It's interesting to see the pictures of him from before the babies were born. He just looks kind of happy and normal and now he looks like he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders and I guess he really does. I keep wondering what on earth would happen if they got a divorce with all those kids to raise. Now that would be an interesting show!

Seventeen Kids and Counting - This one is definitely my favorite! In case you haven't seen it, the Duggar family has 17 natural born children, actually 18 now because they just had another baby. They get a lot of flak for having so many children and I agree that it's definitely not for everyone, or even most people, but when you have 18 of the nicest, happiest, cleanest, and most polite children I've ever seen, I think you're definitely onto something! Seriously, it's like Zen Parenting or something. I've been watching the show for a while and I've never seen one of the parents yell at any of the kids, I've never seen a kid throw any kind of a tantrum, never seen them talk back to their parents or really misbehave in any way. It's really kind of fascinating. Any sane woman would be going berserk trying to raise this many kids AND homeschool them all, but Michelle is just always smiling, always pleasant, and always appreciative of her husband. Maybe that's the secret, but I'd sure love to see the outtakes reel sometimes. You want to see the Mom lose her cool, just once, or see a typical day with kids smearing peanut butter and jelly on the walls or barfing in her purse or something. Never seems to happen though.

I have to admit that friendships with other women tends to baffle me. I've had so many missteps and disasters over the years, I tend to step extremely careful in this particular area. In some ways, I wish it were more politically correct for married women to be friends with men.

Friendships with men are so straightforward and you never have to walk around on eggshells because with a man (even with a gay man) you always know pretty much where you stand. They either like you or they don't and if they don't like you, it's generally because you've given them some good reason not to.

With women, it's a whole different ballgame. Here are a couple of examples. At work, my only co-worker is out on medical leave for several months. A lot of people on my floor work from home and out of the few that are there, only a handful of them actually take a sit-down lunch. So, after a couple of weeks of eating lunch all by myself, I got up the courage to ask a couple of the other ladies if I could eat with them. They said sure and I had lunch with them several times. We got along perfectly fine and seemed to have a nice time together.

That was about a month ago. Since then, neither one of them has said a word to me. What the heck! I have NO idea if they just got tired of having me around, or if they are waiting for me to ask to go with them again, or if I've offended them in some way. It's very puzzling and kind of uncomfortable because if I ask them, I feel like I'm putting them under obligation to eat with me whether they would like to or not. So I've just kind of left it. It's just kind of puzzling.

Then a couple of weeks ago, some other ladies asked me to come over and stamp with them. I was a little hesitant because I don't know them very well, and they've never been particularly friendly to me, but I thought it might be a good way to get to know them a little better. Plus I figured they wouldn't have invited me if they didn't like me and want me to come - wrong!

So, I get there and they're all snippy with me. What the heck! Why on earth would you invite someone over to your house and then be all frosty to them like you wish they hadn't come? I walk in and no one says hello to me or even acknowledges my presence. No one seems to like the food I brought. They're all chit-chatting between themselves and I feel like I'm kind of the fly on the wall. Every time I attempt to join in the conversation, I get slapped down in that subtle kind of way. Like you know you've been sort-of dissed, but it's not quite blatant enough to speak up and say anything about it, but you know it wasn't a very friendly response. So, it was just an uncomfortable night where I felt like I wasn't quite welcome, but felt like it would have been bad form to just storm out of there and leave.

See what I mean about eggshells? Women are strange creatures sometimes. Maya Angelou has a saying "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time". I think that really applies here. The ladies from work didn't like me enough to voluntarily invite me to eat with them, so I guess I should have left well enough alone and just brought an interesting book with me, or tried to make friends with someone who actually showed a liking for me. The other ladies showed me from the first that they weren't very nice people and I should have believed them the first time and not expected them to get all chummy with me just because I'd come to their little party. It is confusing though. Kind of like going into a minefield without a map.

Maybe it's not to late to scout around and find some gay guys. Hey fellas.....

I've been watching the Inauguration for most of the day and I just had to share a few more impressions with you. It's been an interesting day from the sublime to the plain ridiculous, but I can already see that this administration is going to be a lot of fun if nothing else. I was tickled that the girls are having a Scavenger Hunt in the new White House tonight. That's a fun way for them to get acquainted and start settling into their new home. Hope they get their durn puppy soon. My kids would never have been this patient!

I had a little chuckle over the stumbles in getting the oath given properly. Here is this big solemn occasion with the eyes on two of the most powerful men in the free world and they manage to muck up their lines royally. That's OK, it's still legal and it adds a nice touch of humanity to the day. They'll be replaying that one for about the next 50 years, I'm sure.

Did you see Muhammad Ali in the crowd? I just love that man and I break out in a grin every time I think of him. I so strongly remember him lighting the torch at the Atlanta games and even though his body is a mess, his spirit is still SO big! And Aretha Franklin - wow, that woman can sing. He couldn't have made a better choice to sing him into office and that hat was just TOO fabulous! Wasn't too impressed with the poet lady though and who was that old guy who gave the benediction partly in rhyme? That was a little bizarre, but kind of funny.

Oprah was surprisingly low-key. I recognized Steadman before I even saw her. You'd think at an event like this, she'd be more visible. I look forward to watching her show and seeing her impressions. I liked seeing all the Presidents too. Jimmy Carter is my favorite. I always liked him and he has gotten better and better with age. How did Bob Bennett get to be such a big deal? I know he's our Senator from Utah, but I had no idea he was such a big mucky muck.

I think the news people really blew it with the Ted Kennedy thing. The poor guy has a seizure in the middle of this very high-profile luncheon. Completely understandable - he's a million years old and he has a brain tumor, plus he's been standing around in the cold for hours, and they immediately start talking about him like he's dead. Seriously! Big difference between a mild seizure and dead, fellas! That's just tacky and very disrespectful, IMHO.

Did you get to see any of the parade? I don't think I've ever watched the parade before, but I was kind of expecting something on the lines of the Rose Parade. Something very fancy and very official and instead, one of the first things I saw was a bunch of people pushing dolled up LAWNMOWERS. I thought that was just priceless. I was expecting to see kids on bikes next. We have a parade like that on the 4th of July and I love it. It's just adorably hokey! It's the kind of parade where you dress up your dog in red, white, and blue crepe paper and anyone who feels like walking in the parade just gets up and does it. That's what America is all about!

OK, a word about the Neighborhood Ball. Sting with a beard - ugh! And a messy beard too. I kept looking at him and thinking he looked very familiar, but I had no clue until they introduced him. Beyonce and Mariah - hmmmm. That's not quite how I would have dressed to meet the new Prez. They were pretty dresses, but they didn't leave much to the imagination, I thought. OK, maybe I'm just a prude, but I wouldn't want my Mama and my preacher and my 4th grade math teacher to be seeing me looking like that.

And speaking of dresses - ohmygosh Michelle! I don't mean to nitpick, but out of all the dresses in the universe, why would you pick the one that makes you look like a mummy with little cottonballs stuck to your butt???


I got another chuckle as she and the President had their first dance. Looks like we managed to find the only black man in America who CAN'T dance? That's OK, we'll keep him anyway!

PS: Is it just me, or does Michelle walk like a linebacker? Shhhh. Pretend I didn't say that, but next time you see her walk, take a look and see what you think....


PS: I'm participating in a Funny Friday carnival over at Navel Gazing at it's Finest. Pop over there if you want more funny stories.

What a great day today! I got up this morning to watch the inauguration of our new President this morning with my two sons. What a heart-warming day for all of America. It seems like it has been such a long wait from November 4th to today, but I'm glad it's finally here. I hope this is a day they'll remember forever.

This is the first political campaign I was ever involved in and my boys were my partners in it, particularly Blake. He helped me bake cookies to sell for an Obama fund-raiser. He went with me to my first call party and helped me host our call party. He took attendance, passed out call packets, and he sat with me on election night to cheer the results. Matt voted for the first time and spoke to his friends about his support for Barack Obama and hopefully helped them to make up their minds. I feel strongly that the results of this election and others to come will affect their entire future, so I'm glad I got them involved.


It is so comforting to think of our new President sitting up there in the Oval Office every day just trying his best to help us and make our country better. I am just visualizing our country healing a bit day by day under his watch.

My niece sent me some pictures that I wanted to share with you. It was in an E-mail called The Babies Know... and it shows all these great pictures throughout the campaign of Barack with babies and little kids. I do love to see a man who loves babies.


I've seen a number of inaugurations - I can't remember how many, probably 5 of them, but this was the first one I've been particularly excited to see. I'm working today, so I had to watch it in between my work and my E-mails, but it was a marvelous inauguration. They are estimating 1.5 million people showed up, the largest of any Inauguration to date. I think that speaks well of a good start to this Administration. I know I've been haunting the websites and leaving ideas and comments for them. I think it's great that they are opening themselves up for such good communication. I am confident that the trend will continue over the next four years.

I had to share a joke about being a Democrat in a strongly Republican state like ours - they say we used to be able to hold our political meetings in a phone booth, but we've been recruiting lately, so now we can hold them in a shipping container. With a 29% share in this election, I think we've moved up in the world. Next time - we're aiming for a football field!



Today also marks the day of former President Bush's departure back to Texas. Obviously, I'm not a fan, but I know a lot of you are Republicans and Bush/McCain supporters, so I won't share any of my thoughts on the subject. I'll just leave you with a picture.

Sorry I've been kind of among the missing this week, but I've got a good excuse. I finally caved and got onto Gmail. As I posted a while back, I discovered Google Reader. I liked it so much, I decided to try Google Calendar. Well, that was just the slide down the slippery slope. Now I think I'm hooked!

You know how it is. You start by trying out Firefox, then before you know it, you've transported yourself completely into the modern age! Actually, I don't know why it took me so long because I actually love technology, but I guess I just didn't want to spend the time to adjust.

But I'm not sure if I'm using it correctly. I've been spending every spare minute setting up my filters and archiving some of my 1500 or so messages. Yes, 1500 messages and that's just since about August. Yes, I am an electronic packrat. I probably need a 12 step program or something. Or maybe just Gmail...

Anyway, if you've got any fabulous tips for using Gmail, feel free to pass them off. I was shocked to find out that you can't create folders, can't sort, can't do a lot of things, but I do love the filters and the threaded conversations.

So I'm back, at least when I'm not wrangling my new inbox.

In case you haven't heard, President-Elect Obama is calling for a National Day of Service on Monday, January 19th. This is also Martin Luther King's birthday and the day before the Inauguration, so I think it's a great way to get things started off on the right foot. It really sets the tone for the new administration and I'm so excited.

The Obama family will be volunteering at a Washington DC charity on that day and they are asking for people across the country to join them in volunteering where ever they can in their own communities. They are hoping to get thousands of volunteers involved.

There are tons of local websites, but they have also set up a Nationwide website for volunteering in your own city. It's USAService.org. You can put in your zip code and it will give you a list of local opportunities. I think Matt and I are going to volunteer with the Red Cross. I'm going to help out in the office and he's going to help with the blood collections. I don't think they'll actually let him draw blood, although he's certified for it, but he can help fill out forms or hand out cookies, or something.

I haven't seen a lot of coverage for this in the press, so if you'll help me get the word out, you'll have a chance to win one of these fabulous rhinestone covered picture frames - your choice of glitzy silver or pretty girly pink.

There are two ways to win - you can just put a post on your blog about it or sign up as a volunteer on Monday. Just leave me a comment and you'll be entered into the drawing. I'll draw the names on Inauguration night.

Oh my goodness! I was so caught up in all the Inauguration stuff, I forgot to draw from the prize. We had three entries and the winner is:

Carol Marbach!

Congratulations Carol! I'll be in touch to see if you want pink or silver.

If you haven't already seen Benjamin Button, you MUST go and see it. What a fabulous movie! Ones like that don't come around very often these days.

It's the kind of movie you see that you don't want it to ever end. And it is kind of long, so for a while it seemed like it wouldn't end, but that was a good thing. I don't know what kind of movie magic they used to age and de-age Brad Pitt, but oh my goodness! I had forgotten how gorgeous he was when he first started out. He's fabulous at any age, but when they de-aged him to about 17, he could literally take your breath away. And Cate Blanchett is no slouch either. She is drop dead gorgeous.

Oh and while you're in a movie mood, go out and rent "Mrs. Pettigrew Lives for a Day". I know the title is totally lame, but if you love romantic comedies, you will adore this little confection of a movie. I had seen it in the theatre, but I went out last week and rented it again just to be sure and I loved it just as much the second time.

Keep an eye out for Lee Pace from Pushing Daisies (another huge favorite of ours - we are so sad that it has been cancelled). He plays a dashing piano player who is very different from the Ned character on Pushing Daisies. I'll be interested to see what they put him in next. With those big, melting brown eyes, he's just my kind of guy. Trust me, you'll love this movie!

These are 100 things to do in your life. Feel free to play along. Just copy it and mark off yours.

In the meantime, here are some other posts you might enjoy:

- Running Your Own Thrift Store
- Letter to a Younger Me
- Money is Not For Spending

The ones in green are the ones I've done so far - almost 50 out of the 100.

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
8. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run (on a Wii maybe)
32. Been on a cruise - twice
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen - prepared the food, does that count?
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the changing of the guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle - didn't like it!
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book - some stories and a Lotus Macro in a computer book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous - Donald O'Connor
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake - no and that's embrassing because I live here!
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

I had an AHA moment when I was watching Oprah the other day. She said something interesting. I think this was the show about Happiness. She said - are you on your To Do list? And the answer was - heck no! It never even occurred to me.



I'm mean, I'm a bizzy gurl - I don't call it Adrian's Crazy Life for nuthin'. I work a full time job, run a family, manage two blogs and a website, and run not one but two home businesses. Plus about a dozen other things. I've got kids to take care of, a husband, bosses, customers, neighbors, church friends, and multiple cats. And they all need STUFF from me - every day. Time, energy, attention, food, laundry, money and a million other things. There's just no room left to take care of me too.

So, where does that get me? Well, I'm overweight, overstressed, overtired, and overdrawn. I can't remember the last time I ate a balanced meal, exercised for more than 10 minutes, got to bed before midnight, or watched a movie without a computer or a load of laundry in my lap.



So, I've decided to put myself back into the picture. After all, it's MY life, isn't it? Or at least it's supposed to be. What is it with us Mom's that we get so caught up in the carpool, the housework, the Little League or piano lessons, and everything else that we take care of everyone but ourselves? It's not like anyone else is going to do it for us. At least not at my house they aren't. I mean if I broke my leg or something, they'd probably pitch in a bit, but barring that, I'm pretty much on my own!



So, step one was to get a To Do list. I never even feel like I could take the time to do that - just some simple planning in the morning to make sure I can fit everything into my day. I've never been able to manage a planner or any kind of a calendar - I just never felt like I could spare the time to keep it up to date every day. I would pull together a list once in a while on whatever random notebook or scrap of paper I could scare up, but that's about it.





So I made a trip to the local Franklin Covey store. They've got the best in planners after all. I even quibbled about spending the money to get myself a planner, but then I decided I was worth a few bucks after all, even if it was the day before payday. I would have managed it if the kids had needed something. I thought I wanted to Her Point of View wirebound daily planner. I even had it in my hot little hand. But then I saw the Holy Grail of all To Do Lists.


I love this pad. It has three separate sections with tear away pages in each section. I've only been using it for a couple of days, but already I'm seeing an improvement. I walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes after work yesterday. Today, I ate a healthy lunch while I messed around with the jigsaw puzzle in the breakroom at work - for an hour. I left work right on time instead of staying an extra half hour or hour late, even though I still had work that needed to be done. I came home and took a quick nap while the guys were at Karate and then read a book for an hour. I didn't even crack open my computer until after 10:00.

Hmmmm. A girl could get to like this....

I don't have a lot of time today, so I'll just post a quick, easy recipe I picked up from my niece over the holidays. I love things that are quick and easy and delicious. She made this for us when we were over there for Christmas and I liked it so much, I made it again a few days later. This is such an easy recipe, it would be great for kids to make.

Ingredients:
A couple of apples, peeled
A package of crescent rolls
Cup o' sugar
Cup o' orange juice
Stick of butter
Tsp of vanilla
Cinnamon sugar

Peel the apples and cut them into wedges. Unwrap the crescent rolls and roll up 3 or 4 apple wedges in each crescent roll. Line them up in a baking dish. I sprinkle in a little cinnamon sugar before I roll them and then a little more on top.

Melt the butter and mix with the OJ, the vanilla and the sugar. Heat in a saucepan until the sugar is fully mixed in and it's a thick syrupy liquid. Pour the liquid over the crescent wrapped apples and bake for about 12-15 minutes at 350. Remove when golden brown.

Serve hot with ice cream or Cool Whip. Serves 8.

When I made it, I peeled all the apples by hand. The next day, Blake asked me why I hadn't used our Rotato, which is a combination potato/apple peeler. It's kind of fun - like a low-tech lathe for fruit and veggies. Boy, did I feel dumb! I'd totally forgotten we had one. And it's not just me. Tony made a ton of mashed potatoes over the holidays and he didn't use it once. Oh well, I never said we were SMART!

If you read yesterday's post on engineering your life to support your New Year's Resolutions, you'll probably want to read this one as well. I created a follow-up post with some additional ideas for being successful with the changes you want to accomplish.

You'll need to pop over to my "other" blog to read it - MessyMomsSLC.blogspot.com. While you're there, feel free to Subscribe or sign up as a Follower. I could use some new readers. Also, I've got a list of some of my favorite cleaning and organizing books you can purchase. And if you're in the Salt Lake area, you can sign up for one of my cleaning and organizing workshops.

So much for shameless plugs - click HERE to go and read the post. It's got some funny stuff in it that will make you laugh.

Since the "virus incident", I have hired a new computer technician. She's very dedicated, as you can see - spends hours on the job. She likes to use the "hands on" approach, or should I say "paws on". She likes to sit up here so she can monitor our computer usage and scare away any viruses with her bare paws. She's the first technician I've seen who can recognize a virus by leaning over and reading it upside down. Of course, her head gets in the way sometimes, but I guess that's just the price you pay.



She also brings along her own assistant. He's not too bright though. His main talent is opening the basement door so she can get to the computer. But he's cute, isn't he?

Playing along at Texas Word Tangles Camera Critters. Click HERE to play.

This is a post that I put together for my other blog - MessyMomsSLC.blogspot.com. I thought it was such a good post, I'd share it with you too. I'm getting ready to start another round of cleaning and organizing classes in January, so if you've got anyone near the Salt Lake area that you think could benefit from a class like this, please send them my way. More class info is on the blog or click the contact button to E-mail me for more info.

I've been scouring the Internet for good tips to help you with your New Year's resolutions and I thik I've found a really great one. This post from Zen Habits is a couple of years old, but it had such good information, I just had to share it with you.

Controlling my habits is probably the biggest challenge I've ever had to deal with, both breaking bad habits and creating good ones. And I'm not alone. I read somewhere that something like 90% of heart attack patients can't change their habits, even when it might cost them their lives. No wonder we struggle so when we make our little resolutions to lose weight, clean up our houses, and stop abusing our charge cards.

So, what's a girl to do? Well, actually this article has some excellent suggestions for building up your habits in a very deliberate way that will make your changes stick. It's called Engineering Your Life and if you do it properly, you will make it almost impossible for yourself to fail.

One technique that I have used is very similar to the ideas shown in the article. I am perpetually late for work, mainly because I like to dawdle in the shower. That's where I do my best thinking and it's not unusual for me to be in there for half an hour or more, which always makes me late for work. So I set up a plan with my youngest son Blake. When I go to get into the shower, I set out a load of laundry along with a timer set to 15 minutes. When the timer goes off, he goes down to start the washer. I'll tell you, that gets me out of the shower extra quick, when that water turns cold as ice! Plus I get a good start on a load of laundry for the day.

Click HERE to read the article.

2008 was in interesting year, so I thought I'd do a little recap on it for you. Those of you who have been following my blog all year probably already know most of this stuff, but I know I've picked up a lot of new readers recently.

Work - This year work has been insanity in a can. We "upgraded" to a new computer program and I use the word upgrade with a definite edge of sarcasm. Basically this new program has essentially tripled my workload with no particular benefit that I can see, but what can you do? 2009 promises to be even worse as we are getting another "upgrade" in a couple of months and will be processing a major acquisition for the company. Still I'm so grateful to have a good job in this economy, so I'll keep slogging along.

Kids - I'm grateful that my kids are all healthy and doing reasonably well. Ryan has four kids now (wow!) and they are doing remarkably well with that. Matt is unemployed and driving me crazy, but he's still a pretty good kid. Blake is having some issues with bullying at school, but we're working through it and trying to help him act a little more mature, which should help.

Family - Been an interesting year for family. My sister moved a couple of hundred miles away, so I get to spend even less time with her. We lost our last remaining parent this year - my father-in-law, which was very hard and created a lot of extra stress and hardship in our life as we sorted through his estate, but we're getting through it as best we can. Plus we've had the joy of a new granddaughter.

Travel - We did a LOT of traveling this year, some of it for fun, some of it not. Started the year with a 3 day trip to Phoenix for a business trip. When I came back, my FIL was failing so we headed directly out to California for his final days and funeral. Then, due to a freak of timing, we headed back to Utah the day after the funeral to pack for our 25th Anniversary Cruise to the Caribbean. So literally, we flew coast-to-coast within 10 days. Despite the circumstances, we had a fabulous time on our Cruise and it made for a very memorable anniversary for Tony and I. Had several more trips during the year - one to clean out the house and get it ready for sale, one for a mini vacation to Evanston Wyoming (fabulous 4th of July fireworks!) and our most recent trip to CA to see the grandkids for Thanksgiving. Hopefully, we'll be staying put more in 2009!

Stamping - Continued to keep pretty busy with my stamping business. Went to numerous weekend stamping events with my friends, including a girls stamping weekend in April, and a 4 day Convention in July. Continued to teach my monthly classes as well as my work with the Ronald McDonald House team.

Church - As always, we are very busy and involved with our church. Matt plays in the band, I sing in the choir when I can, and we have numerous service events we help out with, such as making 500 sandwiches for the homeless shelter. This month, I'm looking at putting together a chili cookoff. Said goodbye to our minister, which was hard after 9 years, but we're hopeful that we're going to get a great new leader.

Other - Created my Messy Mom's classes and have taught four classes so far. I really enjoy making a difference in the lives of these women and seeing how excited they get to make changes in their everyday lives. I'm starting a new round of classes in January, so if you know anyone in the Salt Lake area who could benefit, send them my way.

Weight - I'm just putting this in for the sake of honest reporting. Managing my weight in 2008 has not been my shining moment. Despite 3 rounds of Weight Watcher's classes this year, I have basically been losing and gaining the same 5 pounds all year long and I think I'm even a few pounds heavier than I started the year out. Hard to tell, because I got a new scale half way through the year and it weighs heavier than the old one, but I guess the point is that I didn't really LOSE any weight in 2008 (sigh). Not that I'm going to go off the deep end with any New Year's resolutions or anything. I've just done that too many times and I always end up not sticking to it, so I think I'm just going to make up my mind to be fat and like it! Or something like that....

So, how about you? Are you happy to say goodbye to 2008? Got any interesting Resolutions? Feel free to share.