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Monday, May 13, 2013

Guest Posting about Bullying at Mom It Forward

I'm having a busy week for guest posting.  First my sibling rivalry post was on the Empowering Parents blog earlier this week, now another one of my favorite posts is on the Mom It Forward site today.  

I have shared this post recently on my blog about my son's experiences with bullying and some of my ideas about how the school system handles bullying.  But I knew it wouldn't get a lot of views here on my little blog, so I asked my friends over at Mom It Forward to help me give it a better platform and they were glad to assist.  

Bullying is a big problem these days, so I think it helps to have people share their ideas and come up with new an innovative ways to combat it.  I hope you can pop over to my post on Mom It Forward and leave your comments over there on your own experiences with bullying.  Or just say "Hey, I know her - she's awesome!" or something supportive like that.  




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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Guest Posting for EmpoweringParents.com Today

Today was a very happy day.  I am guest posting over at EmpoweringParents.com today and it is one of my most favorite posts.  

Empowering Parents is my favorite resource for parenting tips.  I've been getting their newsletter for about a year now and I have gotten all sorts of terrific parenting tips.  The other day I read a good one about avoiding arguments with my teen - always a topic of interest for any parent of teens!  

I'm not only featured on their blog today, but my post is also going to be featured in their upcoming newsletter to their 40,000 subscribers - how exciting is that?  

The post is about Sibling Rivalry and how it compares to Bullying.  If you have more than one child in your household and you are sick and tired of all the bickering and fighting, this is a great post to check out.  




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Monday, May 6, 2013

The Motherless Daughters Project

As you know by now, I am a big fan of Shot@Life.  This is a charity that is working hard to save children's lives and I enjoy helping them out.  It's really rewarding when you think about the impact each donation can have - even $5 provides one life-saving vaccination for a child in a third world country and $20 protects them for life against such killer diseases as polio, measles, pneumonia, and rotavirus. A child dies from these diseases every 20 seconds, so that seems like a very worthwile goal.  

I was thinking about Mother's Day and what I could do for a Mother's Day fundraiser to help my charity.  Well, Mother's Day is always kind of a tough day for me.  My Mother and mother-in-law are gone now as are all of my grandparents and most of my aunts.  So, my tradition is to take the money I would have spent on a gift for my Mom (and my Dad on Father's Day) and give it to a charity she would have liked.  It's something that would have pleased her and a nice way to honor her memory.  

I know a lot of other people have lost some really wonderful women in their lives as well, so I thought I would offer my readers an opportunity to do the same.  I call this the Motherless Daughters project.  

I would love it if you would donate in honor of your loved one, but I would also love to hear your story about them.  What was wonderful about them, how did they support you, why would they be pleased with your decision to donate?  If you will leave a comment about your loved one, whether you choose to donate or not, I will send that comment to the people on the Shot@Life blog and they will be publishing some of them on their site.  



Here is the link for the donation site for our Utah Shot@Life Champions if you'd like to donate by credit card (you can put your loved one's name in the donation slot to show up on our donors list).  Or if you'd prefer to write a check, you can mail it directly to the UN Foundation at the following address:

UN Foundation
Attn: Finance and Shot@Life
1800 Massachusetts Ave, NW, STE 400
Washington, DC  20036

If you put Utah Shot@Life Champions on the memo line, they will credit the donation to our total.

In the meantime, I hope you will have a wonderful Mother's Day complete with lots of chocolate and a fun day with the people you love!    




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Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Smart Money: Save Money with Microsavings

Sometimes I think the saving habit is one of the hardest habits to develop.  But that savings account has saved my butt so many times, I just don't understand how people function without one.  

I think the trap people fall into is thinking that they don't have "enough" money to develop a regular savings habit.  That's kind of delusional thinking because the emergencies aren't going to stop coming just because you don't have the money on hand to deal with them.  

So when the car breaks or the water heater floods the basement, you are going to reach for the credit card, borrow from relatives, or heaven forbid, resort to the dreaded payday loan.  Those are all strategies that just dig you deeper in the hole. 


So, how to deal with that pesky problem with finding the money to fund your savings account.  The answer is microsavings - lots of tiny changes to generate extra money to save.  Here are some ideas for you:


Illegal Tender:  This was my Mom's favorite strategy.  She would declare certain denominations of money as "Illegal Tender" - usually quarters, but sometimes just nickels or dimes.  Then she would sort the extra change out of her wallet every night and put it in a special jar.  It added up a lot faster than you would think and she would usually be able to deposit an extra $30-$50 per month to have savings account.  There are some banks that will do this for you automatically now. Every time you use your debit card, it rounds the transaction up to the nearest dollar amount and moves the change off to your savings account - sweet!


Extreme Couponing:  It takes extra time and dedication, but you can save a lot of money with coupons.  The trick is to figure out how much money you actually saved and bank it.  Otherwise, it just slips off into the wild blue yonder and you never seem to benefit from it.  


Brown Bagging: If you aren't already doing it, you can save money through brown bagging your lunches, or other types of cutbacks.  For instance, meatless Mondays, breakfast for dinner, or cutting back on eating out.  Again, the important part is to track your savings and funnel that money into the bank.  


Garage Sales/Ebay/Craigslist:  If you are not having luck with any of these methods, its time to get more intense.  Start digging around your house for stuff you can sell for extra money.  I've done this for years and I've made thousands and cleared a lot of unwanted stuff out of my house.  

Extra work:  There's a ton of ways you can fund your savings account by doing extra work.  It doesn't always have to mean a second job, or a heavy-duty commitment like that.  You can occasionally babysit or tutor kids, give piano/guitar lessons, do hair, or clean houses, whatever floats your boat.  I do decluttering work for people when I have an extra evening and my husband does odd jobs and lawn mowing for people in the neighborhood. 


Direct Sales (party plan businesses):  This one comes with a warning.  Do NOT get into this if you have a shopping problem.  It takes a lot of discipline to make this work properly and not be a liability to your budget.  However, if you're smart and disciplined about it, you can make quite a bit of money in these businesses.  In the past, I've sold both Stampin' Up! and Pampered Chef.  I don't make a fortune, but it's a nice trickle of extra money, and I get a lot of stuff for free that I would have bought anyway.  

The important thing is to get that money into the bank anyway you can and once it's there - forget about it and let it grow.  


What are your best ideas for microsavings?

If you'd like to see past posts on the subject, click the label at the bottom of this post for a complete list.   

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Thursday, April 25, 2013

Clutterbugs: Don't Hide Behind Your Excuses

If you have a messy, disorganized, out-of-control house, what are the excuses you give yourself for not dealing with it?  There are a million different excuses for not tackling your household problems.  But for every excuse you come up with, there is someone else who had that same excuse and has managed to turn it around and create a successful lifestyle for themselves and their families.


Think about what you would tell a friend who had asked you for your help and gave you this excuse.  Would you call them on it?  Probably.  There are very few excuses that stand up to a good stiff dose of honest conversation with someone who cares about you.  

What would you tell your child if they were giving you this excuse about doing their homework or something important?  

I don't know about you, but my kids try every excuse in the book - I'm too tired, too busy, I didn't understand it, it isn't that important, I needed to do this other thing instead, I don't know where to start, blah, blah, blah.  

I don't accept most of these excuses from my kids, but then again I'm a mean Mommy and they tell me that frequently (ha!).  But I'd rather be the mean Mommy with the kids who are passing their classes than the nice Mommy with kids who are dropping out.  


On the other hand, after I called my friend/child on their excuse, I would start trying to figure out some strategies to help them get past the problem.  The other day I busted my son because he kept forgetting to feed the cats.  I yelled and him and took his computer away for a day, but then I suggested that he leave the light on in the cat area, so he would see their bowl on the way to bed.  Then we moved the bag of food right outside his door, so he would see it every morning and evening.  A little creative thinking can be a big help.

So, now it's time for a little straight talk with yourself.  Take a piece of paper and write out all your excuses.  Then look at them from someone else's point of view and see what you can do about them.  Then let me know what works for you.


If you'd like to see past posts on the subject, click the label at the bottom of this post. 

  

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Shot@Life 1st Birthday Bash

As part of the Shot@Life 1st birthday bash, there are lots of fun things going on.  My Shot@Life Utah team is going to be hanging out at four different locations for the Sweet Tooth Fairy on Friday from 1 to 4.  I'll be at the West Valley location and there is a free cupcake waiting for you if you want to come and visit us at the following locations:

1227 South University Avenue, Provo 
101 East 12300 South, Draper 
5291 South State Street, Murray 
3599 South 2700 West Valley City

Or if you want to create a donation to fund vaccinations for kids and babies around the globe who need these life-saving vaccines, you can go directly to our Team ImmUNITY page.  In case you are new to my blog, you can go here to learn more about Shot@Life and my involvement with them.   

We were also assigned different champions to interview to learn a bit more about the Champions we are working with.  My friend Lucrecer from the Evo Conference did a great interview with me that is posted on her blog.  I was assigned to speak with Lori Harding - one of the ladies who attended last year's Summit to interview.  


Background:  Lori Harding, mother of 3, aunt to 20, sister to 7 and married for 23 years.  Works for Zions Bank, in Salt Lake City as a Region Sales Manager in the Salt Lake Region and has been here for 17 years.

She has served on many boards and in many positions supporting, advocating and protecting the youngest among us – our children, our future!  Currently she holds an appointed position with the Utah State PTA, is a board member for Adoption Exchange, part of the United Way Leadership Council for the United Way of Salt Lake and is a presenter for Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, along with teaching 9 and 10 year olds for her church.

In her own words, here is what Lori has to say about her Shot@Life experience:

How did you hear about Shot@Life?  I heard of Shot@Life thru my association with Mom Congress.  I am the 2010 Utah Delegate for Mom Congress and a 2011 and 2012 Mom Congress mentor and presenter. 

Why did you get involved?  My passion is children, protecting them, educating them and striving to provide a safe and nurturing future for them.  When the opportunity came to raise my voice on a national scale by networking with other mothers, I knew I had to get involved.

What have you done over the past year to help spread the word about Shot@Life and the importance of expanding access to global vaccines?  Over the past year I have worked within my networks to further the cause by educating and promoting Shot@Life.  I have been the Utah State PTA Health Commissioner and actively involved in many different committee’s and networking groups.  I have held Shot@Life parties, put together community awareness events and staffed many health-focused table events.  In 2012 Shot@Life welcomed political leaders and religious leaders in a gathering in Salt Lake City where we hosted a panel discussing what has been done, what needs to be done and how we can further the relationship between Utah and Shot@Life.

What’s your favorite birthday tradition?  One of my favorite birthday traditions growing up was going shopping with my grandmother.  She would make it a very special day.  I enjoyed spending time with her, dressing up and going downtown Salt Lake City.  We would go to lunch and then shopping at ZCMI (now Macy’s).  This tradition continued until I was 18. 

What milestones did you experience with Shot@Life during their first year?  One of my most eye-opening experiences during the first year with Shot@Life is the realization of just how much can be done when good motivation and energy converge on a very important global issue.  Thru the power of social media, my voice has been shared across the globe.  I have many passionate friends and colleagues who have stepped up, opened their pocketbooks and their hearts to further the cause!  Even my children have chosen to donate our family Giving Jar to Shot@Life so that others can have a better life.

Thanks so much to Lucrecer and Lori for sharing their experiences with us.  Shot@Life is a very worthy endeavor and I have so much admiration for the women (and a few men!) who have signed up to support these great programs. For more information, please visit the ShotatLife.com website.  



Friday, April 19, 2013

Clutterbugs: Organizing for a Trip

Since I just got back from my trip to DC, travel packing is on my mind.  I'm actually something of a fanatic about packing - I can't stand to be without something I might need, so I really put a lot of thought and effort into it when I pack for a trip.  


TIMING - To me, packing for a trip is at least 90% mental, so I choose my packing time carefully.  I prefer to do it when I'm alone in the house and won't be rushed or interrupted.  Interruptions usually come about every 30 seconds when my sons & husband are home, so this is absolutely necessary for my sanity. 



VARIABLES - My first step is to check the weather along the way and at the place we'll be visiting.  Then I think about the things we are likely to do while we are there.  Will we be going some place like Disneyland with a lot of walking?  Are we liable to need a heavy coat, or an umbrella?  Might we need some nice clothes for church or going out to dinner? 


OUTFITS - Once I've gotten some of these basic things figured out, I can start putting my outfits together.  I plan to wear my most comfortable clothes on travel days, along with my bulkiest shoes to save a little room in my suitcase.  I pay particular attention to shoes and outerwear to make sure I don't bring a too-long pair of pants with a too-short heeled shoe, and I also keep an eye to where I can double up shoes or a jacket with more than one outfit.  


I usually lay my outfits on the bed so I can add or subtract items easily and think through the order I will want to wear them.  Then I stack them in my suitcase in more or less the same order.  Some people like to make lists at this point, but I've traveled enough I can usually do it in my head.  


I say stack, but really after doing some Internet research, I've started "ranger rolling" my clothes - click link for how-to video.  They don't wrinkle as much and it takes up a lot less room.    

TOILETRIES - The next step is toiletries.  Most of that is already done in advance.  I have a toiletries bag I keep under my sink and I keep it stocked with a lot of basic items that I use on every trip - travel sizes of shampoo, face wash, or special soaps I like, a extra comb, toothbrush, & hairspray.  I've also added a small baggie of basic over-the-counter meds for tummy troubles, sinus problems, or sleep issues.  So basically, all I need to add are my prescription meds (in a handy pill organizer to save space), my jewelry, and a few odds & ends.  

ELECTRONICS - The last thing to get are all the darn chargers and gadgets.  Since we can't go anywhere without two or three cell phones, cameras, iPods, my Kindle, DS2's, and everything else under the sun, I make sure everything is charged up the night before and the necessary cords and chargers are all neatly packed in a ziplock bag. 


KIDS - A word about packing with kids.  I usually teach my kids to pack for themselves (with my supervision) starting at about age 6.  I start them with three basic requirements - something to sleep in, something to swim in, and some kind of a jacket.  Doesn't matter if it is hottest summer, or coldest winter, these items are non-negotiable.  You never know when the weather is going to turn chilly, and you never know when you might get a chance to swim or go in a hot tub and a swimsuit takes up very little room.  


CLOTHES KIDS - After they have done these and their toiletries, I start them putting together "clothes kids".  What's a clothes kid you ask? A clothes kid is an outfit they lay out on the floor in the shape of a kid.  It includes shoes & socks, underwear, and everything else needed to make a complete outfit.  It makes it so much easier for them to visualize if they can see the whole thing top to bottom.  So if we are going on a five day trip, I just tell my son to make five clothes kids.  Once he has them all laid out on the floor, I go through and inspect them for cleanliness, holes, weather-appropriateness, and general desirability.  I generally have to change out a few items, but it's a good start.  


Then we take a rubber band, roll up each outfit with the socks & underwear in the middle, and pop it into the suitcase.  Then each morning, they just take the entire rubberbanded outfit into the bathroom and get dressed - voila!  Easy peesy.  You can even tell what is clean because anything that is not in a rubber band has obviously been worn. 


BACKPACKS - Couple of other rules I have - everything must be containerized.  Each person is issued a backpack for any  books, entertainment items, loose accessories, stuffed animals, and snack items.  Anything not in immediate use needs to remain in the backpack.  My older son literally explodes into a hotel room and it is murder trying to make sure he doesn't leave important stuff behind.  And I never buy that line about oh, I'll just grab my whatever on the way out, Mom.  If it isn't in a suitcase or a backpack that is sitting by the door, it isn't going.  Usually coats are the most frequent items left behind, and that is the one thing you really can't do without.

By sticking to these basics, I can usually have a trip where I have everything I need with me, nothing gets lost, and I can put my hands on whatever I want in about 30 seconds.    


What are your best travel organizing tips?


If you'd like to see past posts on the subject, just click on the link at the bottom of the page to see a complete list. 

 

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Clutterbugs: Dealing with a "Packrat"

One thing I hear from a lot of the people I talk to is that they have a messy house, but it isn't their fault.  They are fairly neat and organized themselves, but they live with someone who is a "collector", a "packrat" or maybe even someone with mild hoarding tendencies.  


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This can be a serious problem and can put a major strain on the relationship.  Note that if you are dealing with a true hoarder personality, you probably need to get some professional help involved.  We lived across the street from a serious hoarder for many years and I always felt so sorry for her.  She spent nearly every waking moment arranging and rearranging her treasures, (which were really garage sale and thrift market finds).  The sad part was that even though she was dealing with major consequences, in the form of notices from the city, complaints from neighbors, and major pressure from her family, it didn't seem to me that she ever got any pleasure from the things she had.  I knew her for about 20-something years and I never saw her have a truly happy moment.


But in this case, we are dealing with a mild case of packrat-itis or someone who likes to collect large quantities of certain items.  For my husband, it was train stuff.  In our previous house, he had probably two 10 X 12 rooms completely devoted to his train collection, his enormous layout, and associated supplies.  He also had train pictures and other memorabilia spread throughout the house.  I wouldn't have minded so much, but his interest in it was pretty lukewarm, at best.  He might get them out and actually do something with it like every other month, and that seemed like a LOT of space to devote to something that he wasn't spending time with at least every week or so.  


So, how DO you deal with a situation like this?  Well, part of it is just having some honest conversations about it.  And by that, I DON'T mean fighting, or arguing about it, or criticizing him for his choices.  Instead, you need to find a time when you can have a respectful conversation about his wants and needs, vs. your wants and needs.  Most of the time people are pretty reasonable if you come to them with a ideas on how you can be fair to both of you.  


In our case, my point was that I didn't feel it was fair that we were devoting about 20% of our available space to his hobby that he didn't use very often, while my stamping hobby which I did do all the time, only had about 5% of the available space.  He agreed (a little reluctantly) that it wasn't a very fair situation.  I threw out a little bait - something that he really wanted - a big screen TV.  I didn't particularly want one and we didn't have the money for it, but if he was willing to sell a portion of his train collection, he was more than welcome to use it to buy his TV and put it in the place his layout had been.


"You respect his (or her) desire to collect these items, but you get them to agree to reasonable limits"

The important points were that I didn't insist he give up his entire collection, I gave him the incentive of an item he really wanted, and I didn't get all huffy and demanding.  Instead, I appealed to his sense of fairness and asked for him to work with me on creating a reasonable solution.  We put the whole layout on Craigslist and in about a week, two guys with trucks showed up and carted it off, along with a sizable portion of the train collection.  That one transaction netted him about 3/4 of the money for the TV, and I ran some Ebay auctions for some other train stuff to help him get the rest of it.  


Then when we were planning to move into the new house, we had some further negotiations on how to allocate our new space.  I would have one entire spare bedroom for my stamp classes, but there would be no stamp stuff anywhere else in the house.  And he would have an entire section of the basement for his memorabilia with large closets to hold his remaining train collection.  He agreed that anything that didn't fit into his designated space would have to go.  


I think that is a key point with a collector.  You respect his (or her) desire to collect these items, but you get them to agree to reasonable limits.  If they want to collect magazines, they can keep as many as will fit on this shelf.  Or if it's frogs or pigs or whatever, they can have enough to fill up this display area.  They may not turn the whole house into their little hog heaven.  They have to respect the fact that non-frog lovers live in the house too, and that they deserve room to display items that reflect their own personality. 


It's generally best to allow a collector to make those decisions for themselves.  The one thing you should NEVER do is try to force them into a decision by packing their stuff up and removing it without their knowledge or permission.  That is extremely disrespectful and damaging to the relationship.  How would you like it if someone came in and threw out all the clothes you like best, or arbitrarily jettisoned half the food in your pantry?  You would be furious and would probably waste no time (or money!) in replacing it. 


"The one thing you should NEVER do is try to force them into a decision by packing their stuff up and removing it without their knowledge or permission"

However, if you do find your collector is dragging their feet on the weed-out process after you have already agreed to it, then you have some passive-aggressive behavior going on.  The best way to deal with that kind of behavior is head on.  You set a date (giving them a reasonable amount of time) and say that if they don't do what they agreed to do by then that you will carefully pack up the items yourself and move them to a storage area like a garage or storage shed.  You aren't getting rid of the items in a permanent way, but you are reclaiming the space that was agreed upon.  


If the collector does request your help, be gentle.  Don't wade into it wrinkling up your nose and making snide comments about "this old junk".  Help them find the treasures by asking them to pick out their top 10 items that they value the most.  Then set up a place of honor to display these items and they will be much more willing to get rid of some of the less treasured items.  It's a process and you want to give them lots of credit for any positive steps they are taking to improve the situation.  

If you'd like to see past posts on the subject, click on the tag at the bottom of this post.  
 

Friday, April 12, 2013

Writer's Workshop: My Favorite Quotes Calendar

I haven't had time to go over and play with the crowd at Mama Kats Losin It in for-ever!  But today, I saw one that I just had to jump on board with.  I LOVE, Love, love me some quotes.  I think even more than chocolate.  In fact, I love them so much, I used my digital scrapbooking software to create a whole calendar based around my favorite quotes.  

And yes, when I say CREATE, I mean create.  All these are from-scratch digital pages that I created with my own little fingers.  No templates here.  And I'm happy because I have all my favorite quotes sitting on my desk!  













All products are from Stampin' Up!'s MDS digital software.




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Smart Money: Teach Your Bank to Yell at You

I forget where I read this, but I thought it was a brilliant idea.  What if you were really serious about getting your spending under control?  You could set it up so that your husband gets an Email every time you spend XXX amount of money.  Or your mother?  It would be embarrassing, but it would certainly be a good deterrent!  


"What if you were really serious about getting your spending under control?" 

A couple of guys were talking outside my cubicle the other day.  They were joking about having to "bird-dog" their wives spending on a daily basis to keep it under control.  At the time, I thought it was pretty disrespectful, but on the other hand, I could see their point, if their wives were crazy spending and not making reasonable attempts to keep it under control. 

However, with most major banks, it is possible to set up all kinds of alerts, and I use them - a lot.  However, I leave my husband out of it.  Instead, I let the bank yell at me directly.  Obviously, they don't actually YELL at me, but I do get daily Emails for all sorts of things.  I get alerts if I let my savings balance drop below a certain range, if I overspend on my Visa account, or if my checking account hits rock bottom.


This helps in several ways.  It's kind of a pesky nag point for me to want to get my balances back where they are supposed to be - it is such a relief when the Emails stop after a period of weeks or months!  It also acts as a fraud alert in case someone charges a bunch of stuff on my credit cards or checking account, and it also gives me a quick warning in time to head off an overdraft.  Those darn little bank alerts are a pretty handy little tool, if you use them right.


What ways can you think outside the box to outsmart your money?


If you'd like to see past posts on the subject, just click the tag below for a complete list. 

 


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