Friday, June 14, 2013

Bridal Registry at Macy's

One of the things I wanted to highlight was Macy's bridal registry. Not because I'm getting married - I did my own dog and pony show almost 30 years ago. However, my son Matt recently became engaged. Here is the cute couple:

Won't they make a cute bride and groom? So, obviously, I have been very interested in all sorts of things wedding related and that includes the wedding registry at Macy's Cottonwood Mall store.

Disclaimer: One of the many fun things I've been doing lately is helping out with the Advisory Board at the Macy's Cottonwood Mall store. We have a nice group of ladies who are all bloggers and we come up with posts and other social media magic to help promote the store activities. We will also get to participate in fashion shows and other cool insider stuff. They sponsor us for our activities, but of course, all my opinions are my own - you know me, I always tell it like it is. Here is our group of lovely ladies:

I spoke with a lovely lady named Seeny Owen. She said she had been running the wedding registry for many years and she was extremely knowledgeable. I was surprised at how much had changed since the days I was doing my own wedding registry. Back then, there was a lot of emphasis on china patterns and silver services, while now it's more about informal entertaining, high-end coffee makers and fancy food processors.

The nice thing is that Macy's has kept up with the times. They still have the fancy silver and china if you're into that, but you can literally add any item from the complete Macy's inventory to your registry, regardless if it is carried in your particular store or not. And they have a full range of informal dining items and all the fancy coffee makers you could want.

Plus there were so many other benefits to the registry that I was impressed with:

- Extremely liberal return policy on registry items. If Macy's carries it and it is in brand new condition, they will take it back and give you full credit towards any other item.
- 5% rebate on all registry purchases. So if you have $5,000 worth of gifts, you get a $250 credit on your Star Rewards account* to use on whatever you like. *Does require you to have a Macy's charge account to use.
- The registry is not just for wedding gifts, you can also get an additional 10% rebate for all the items you purchase for the wedding or even your regular shopping during that period. This could include everything from Mother of the bride (or groom!) dresses, shoes, attendant gifts, table settings, just about anything you need.
- I don't know if they do this at all the stores, but at the Cottonwood Mall store, they will do the bride's makeup for free. That can be a big savings and it's much nicer than having your crazy aunt or your best friend do it.
- They have a new benefit for your guests. During the month of June (bridal month!) if they purchase a gift from your registry, they get $20 off a later purchase of $50 or more. That's a real wow!

See what I mean? Back in our day, you were lucky to just get the gifts. Now you can get all of this other stuff too. I remember after our wedding, I think I was as broke as I've ever been before. I have a feeling, I'm going to be feeling that same feeling in about a year or so....

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Monday, June 10, 2013

Clutterbugs: Cleaning Styles of Men vs. Women

Here's a news flash: men are different than women. Shocking isn't it? But it's sort of a basic fact of biology. So, the illogic of it is why do we expect men to act like women and vice versa? There have been whole books on the subject - the whole Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus series, for example.

I have this conversation with my husband all the time. When he complains about my shoes, or the length of my showers, or my overly frequently bathroom breaks, I remind him (yet again!) that these are the realities of living with a woman. If he wanted someone with 3 pairs of shoes who takes 5 minute showers, and only visits the powder room twice a day, he should have married a MAN!

It's kind of silly, isn't it? But we do the same thing when we expect a man to care about towels on the floor, or a few dishes in the sink, or whatever it is we're yelling at him about today. It really isn't fair to expect him to take these things as seriously as we do. They simply aren't designed for that - well, MOST of them aren't. I've had two brother-in-laws (brothers-in-law??) who would make any woman feel like a downright slob, but men like that are relatively rare.

As girls, we were bombarded with information about the importance of keeping a neat house, and nurturing our families. Little girls play wedding, and play house in their little Barbie dreamhouse, or whatever, but boys, not so much. Their role models are completely different and have a different focus. If they do make an effort to clean, it's typically either to keep the peace with us, or because their Mothers somehow managed to drill a few simple routines in them. But then when they slip up, and they invariably will, and we start shrieking like a banshee, it just freaks them out, and makes them not want to be around us.

I guess the question is, does the hissy fit really work? Sure, you may get temporary compliance from him. At that point, he would probably do just about anything to just get you to calm down and leave him alone. But in the long run, it doesn't get him to care about whether or not things get clean or stay clean because it simply isn't on his radar.

So, what to do about it? I think part of it is just awareness. He isn't doing these things to make you crazy or because he doesn't care about you, he's doing it just because he's a guy. The other thing to do is to explain to him why it's important to you. He still probably isn't going to care about whether the dishes get put away, or the towels get folded a certain way, but if he feels appreciated and sees that it makes you happy, that's going to go a long ways towards insuring a little compliance from him. Give it a try - it's likely to make you happier as well. All that yelling is hard on your nerves also!

If you'd like to see past posts on the subject, click on the label at the bottom of this post for a complete list.

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Thursday, June 6, 2013

Clutterbugs: My Top 5 Motivational Ideas

I think the hardest part of making any kind of lifestyle change is motivating yourself to stick with it. It doesn't matter if you are trying to lose weight, clean up your house, be a better parent, employee, or whatever, motivation definitely seems to be the key to success.

I don't pretend to be any kind of expert on the subject, but I have picked up some pretty good tips on the subject over the years. Here are some of the best tips I use to motivate myself:

1. Don't break the chain. This one is simple to do, but very powerful. Get a calendar and mark an X on it for the first day you are successful in using your new behavior. On the second day, add another X and draw a line linking them together. If you don't do your behavior on the third day, you have to start a new chain on the fourth day. What you are doing is competing with yourself to see how many consecutive days you can get for your chain. It's surprisingly motivating.

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2. Picture the prize. I love this one because it's so visual. Works well for both kids and adults. Decide on a reward - whatever you feel is appropriate for about a month's worth of progress towards your goal. Can be an outfit, dinner at a restaurant, a CD, whatever you can afford. The find a nice full-color picture of the item and cut it into about 30 numbered pieces. You stick them in an envelope. Every time you have a good day towards your goal, you earn a piece of the picture. When the picture is complete, you have earned the prize.

3. Set a financial penalty. I got this one from my former pastor. He was like any other father, sometimes he would get mad and yell at his kids and he wanted to change that behavior. So, he decided that he would have to pay them a dollar any time he yelled at them. He had four kids and a pastor's salary, so this was a really good incentive for him to change his behavior. Another version I've heard is to give money to a cause you really dislike. That could be a very good motivator, but you've got to have someone to act as a referee to keep you honest and make sure you actually follow through on your donation or pay your penalty.

4. This brings me to motivator #4 - Enlist a Coach or an accountability partner. This one is a little bit tricky because you have to find someone who is willing to be a little bit mean to you, or at least very strict with you. You don't want a person who is going to cut you a break or let you off the hook. I have a co-worker who has agreed to do this for me and my plan to take better control of my work hours. She hasn't had to yell at me yet because I've been doing really well for these first two weeks, but she has been checking in with me every day and praising me for the good job I'm doing on it and I know she will get on my case if I start slipping up.

5. The flip side of this is to get a partner to reward you rather than yell at you. I did this for my husband when he had been dragging his feet on finishing up some household projects. I had a $20 giftcard to his favorite restaurant that I'd won somewhere, so I tacked it up on the fridge with a note that if he completed the projects by the end of the week, he could have the giftcard to enjoy a nice lunch. The projects got done in record time. One of my clients tried this with great success. Her husband had been after her to clean out their guest room for weeks. She asked him if he would take her out to dinner if she completed the project. He said he would be delighted to. She completed the project in just a few hours and then they enjoyed a nice dinner together, so it was definitely a win-win situation for both of them.

6. If you are really serious about change - I have a bonus tip for you. I am the queen of self help books. I have a whole shelf full of them, along with videos, CD's and audio tapes from every motivational expert under the sun. However, the best one I have found so far is a new book called Change Anything. It is by the author of Influencer, The Power to Change the World. Influencer is also a terrific book, but it deals with large scale situations like preventing AIDS, prison reform, and eradicating diseases in 3rd world countries. Change Anything is more directed towards personal change like losing weight, stopping smoking, etc. They came and spoke at a luncheon I was at and they showed some videos about their program that really impressed me. You can view them for yourself at Changeanything.com.

I hope these ideas will help you. Be sure and drop me a line to let me know how you are getting on with it. Or if you have any great ideas to share also. I'd love to hear them. I am always interested in more great motivational ideas.

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Monday, June 3, 2013

Clutterbugs: How Does Clutter Affect Your Children?

When we tend to think about our clutter issues, we mostly think in terms of how it affects us or our spouse. We don't often think about how it might be affecting our children. However, their home environment definitely has a clear affect on our children that can follow them throughout their lives.

It's interesting. My mother was a pretty big clutterbug but it affected my sister and I completely differently. I am definitely my mother's daughter and I have struggled enormously with these issues for my whole adult life. My older sister, however, went into a completely different mode. Her house is always spotless 24 X 7 every day of the year. On the other hand, my husband was raised by a perfectionist mother. He isn't any better off because she never had the patience to allow him to do anything for himself.

How do you think a houseful of clutter could affect your children? In order to evaluate that, you might want to think about what it would have been to grow up in a completely opposite household. If a child grows up in a house that is kept clean and clutter free, has regular chores, can always depend on having an organized home where friends can come and play, how is that going to be different from the same child who grows up in the middle of clutter and constant chaos?

The clutter can also affect your child's mood and behavior. I notice my son is much calmer and cooperative when he is on restriction. All of a sudden, he doesn't have the distraction of TV, video games, and Facebook, and while he isn't too happy to be on restriction, after a while, he seems perfectly happy to read books, play with Legos or puzzles, and just generally chill out.

I removed all the toys from his room years ago. All the toys and games strewn all over everywhere was just overwhelming with him, and sending him in there with orders to "clean up that pigpen" would just push him into a meltdown. Now that he just has clothes and books in there, it's a much calmer situation for him.

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The other thing you have to consider is how you are preparing your children for their adult lives? A child who doesn't have any regular chores is likely to be an adult who isn't able to do the day-to-day tasks to maintain their home in a liveable condition. A child who is allowed to keep an excess of toys and clothes is likely to be a packrat or even a hoarder in their adult life because they don't see a problem with that behavior.

So, maybe if you are struggling with the whole clutter issue, knowing that you could be impacting your children might give you some extra motivation to get this issue under control. Why not try making some simple changes over the next couple of weeks and notice how your child reacts? Here are some ideas:

- Remove about 50% of the toy clutter. If you don't want to give it away, at least box it up and put it in the basement or garage where they can't see it.
- Simplify wardrobe choices by removing any out of season or too-small clothes. Consider laying out clothes for a week at a time.
- Set up a homework station for school-aged kids to keep books and schoolwork orderly and organized for a stress-free morning.
- If your kitchen table is a clutter magnet, work on keeping it clean so you can have dinner at the table as a family.
- Work on getting together a chore routine that works for once. I've been using MyJobChart.com for the last couple of months.

What ideas do you have for helping your children deal with clutter?

by TwitterButton.com

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

My Cheesy Afternoon on the Dairy Farm

A couple of weeks ago, about 20 of my blogger friends and I paid a little visit to a local dairy farm. We were sponsored by the Mom It Forward organization and the Dairy Council of UT/NV. We always have the best time on these blogger events!

We went up to Canyon View Farms - the home of Heber Valley Artisan Cheese in Heber, just the other side of Park City. I hadn't been to a dairy farm since about 5th grade when I had a school field trip, made memorable by the moment when I stepped in what I thought was a patch of nice firm mud that turned out to be a big patch of squishy cow poo - yuck! This time around, I stepped very carefully!!

Russ Kohler and his wife conducted the first part of our tour while his father Grant did the last half. Russ is a 4th generation dairy farmer and he was very knowledgeable about all aspects of cheese making. He makes hundreds of pounds of delicious all-natural cheese every week in every imaginable variety - even maple brown sugar cheese, and Oreo cheddar - yep with real chocolate. But mostly lots of yummy Swiss, white cheddar, jalapeno mozzarella, you name it. Fun fact - store bought cheddar is only orange because we're used to it that way. They add food coloring to make it orange or yellow - yuck. Cheese is naturally white.

Russ's lovely wife taught us how to make some raw milk mozzarella that was absolutely delicious and much easier to make than I expected.

Photo credit: Heber Valley Artisan Cheese

Grant is exactly what you would expect - a hard working farmer dedicated to raising his family of five grown children on the farm he inherited from his family. I was surprised to learn that nearly 90% of the dairies in Utah are family-run like theirs. They aren't getting rich, but they are living a life they believe in and providing quality products for the people of Utah. You can tell they really enjoy this life. I can understand that, the farm is so beautiful and peaceful. As you can see, I even got to bottle feed a calf.

If you'd like to get a taste of this life, you will have a great opportunity coming up in a couple of weeks - on June 8th, they are having a very special farm event. They are partnering with Domino's pizza (fun fact - 25% of all the cheese made here in the US ends up on pizza) to have breakfast pizzas, ice cream, cheese tasting and farm tours. It's all FREE to give the public a chance to visit the farm and learn about all the delicious products they create. What a great experience to enjoy with your whole family. They also offer classes from time to time in cheese and yogurt making, and special cheese tasting events. Visit their website for more information.

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Monday, May 13, 2013

Guest Posting about Bullying at Mom It Forward

I'm having a busy week for guest posting. First my sibling rivalry post was on the Empowering Parents blog earlier this week, now another one of my favorite posts is on the Mom It Forward site today.

I have shared this post recently on my blog about my son's experiences with bullying and some of my ideas about how the school system handles bullying. But I knew it wouldn't get a lot of views here on my little blog, so I asked my friends over at Mom It Forward to help me give it a better platform and they were glad to assist.

Bullying is a big problem these days, so I think it helps to have people share their ideas and come up with new an innovative ways to combat it. I hope you can pop over to my post on Mom It Forward and leave your comments over there on your own experiences with bullying. Or just say "Hey, I know her - she's awesome!" or something supportive like that.

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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Guest Posting for EmpoweringParents.com Today

Today was a very happy day. I am guest posting over at EmpoweringParents.com today and it is one of my most favorite posts.

Empowering Parents is my favorite resource for parenting tips. I've been getting their newsletter for about a year now and I have gotten all sorts of terrific parenting tips. The other day I read a good one about avoiding arguments with my teen - always a topic of interest for any parent of teens!

I'm not only featured on their blog today, but my post is also going to be featured in their upcoming newsletter to their 40,000 subscribers - how exciting is that?

The post is about Sibling Rivalry and how it compares to Bullying. If you have more than one child in your household and you are sick and tired of all the bickering and fighting, this is a great post to check out.

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Monday, May 6, 2013

The Motherless Daughters Project

As you know by now, I am a big fan of Shot@Life. This is a charity that is working hard to save children's lives and I enjoy helping them out. It's really rewarding when you think about the impact each donation can have - even $5 provides one life-saving vaccination for a child in a third world country and $20 protects them for life against such killer diseases as polio, measles, pneumonia, and rotavirus. A child dies from these diseases every 20 seconds, so that seems like a very worthwile goal.

I was thinking about Mother's Day and what I could do for a Mother's Day fundraiser to help my charity. Well, Mother's Day is always kind of a tough day for me. My Mother and mother-in-law are gone now as are all of my grandparents and most of my aunts. So, my tradition is to take the money I would have spent on a gift for my Mom (and my Dad on Father's Day) and give it to a charity she would have liked. It's something that would have pleased her and a nice way to honor her memory.

I know a lot of other people have lost some really wonderful women in their lives as well, so I thought I would offer my readers an opportunity to do the same. I call this the Motherless Daughters project.

I would love it if you would donate in honor of your loved one, but I would also love to hear your story about them. What was wonderful about them, how did they support you, why would they be pleased with your decision to donate? If you will leave a comment about your loved one, whether you choose to donate or not, I will send that comment to the people on the Shot@Life blog and they will be publishing some of them on their site.

Here is the link for the donation site for our Utah Shot@Life Champions if you'd like to donate by credit card (you can put your loved one's name in the donation slot to show up on our donors list). Or if you'd prefer to write a check, you can mail it directly to the UN Foundation at the following address:

UN Foundation
Attn: Finance and Shot@Life
1800 Massachusetts Ave, NW, STE 400
Washington, DC 20036

If you put Utah Shot@Life Champions on the memo line, they will credit the donation to our total.

In the meantime, I hope you will have a wonderful Mother's Day complete with lots of chocolate and a fun day with the people you love!

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Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Smart Money: Save Money with Microsavings

Sometimes I think the saving habit is one of the hardest habits to develop. But that savings account has saved my butt so many times, I just don't understand how people function without one.

I think the trap people fall into is thinking that they don't have "enough" money to develop a regular savings habit. That's kind of delusional thinking because the emergencies aren't going to stop coming just because you don't have the money on hand to deal with them.

So when the car breaks or the water heater floods the basement, you are going to reach for the credit card, borrow from relatives, or heaven forbid, resort to the dreaded payday loan. Those are all strategies that just dig you deeper in the hole.

So, how to deal with that pesky problem with finding the money to fund your savings account. The answer is microsavings - lots of tiny changes to generate extra money to save. Here are some ideas for you:

Illegal Tender: This was my Mom's favorite strategy. She would declare certain denominations of money as "Illegal Tender" - usually quarters, but sometimes just nickels or dimes. Then she would sort the extra change out of her wallet every night and put it in a special jar. It added up a lot faster than you would think and she would usually be able to deposit an extra $30-$50 per month to have savings account. There are some banks that will do this for you automatically now. Every time you use your debit card, it rounds the transaction up to the nearest dollar amount and moves the change off to your savings account - sweet!

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Extreme Couponing: It takes extra time and dedication, but you can save a lot of money with coupons. The trick is to figure out how much money you actually saved and bank it. Otherwise, it just slips off into the wild blue yonder and you never seem to benefit from it.

Brown Bagging: If you aren't already doing it, you can save money through brown bagging your lunches, or other types of cutbacks. For instance, meatless Mondays, breakfast for dinner, or cutting back on eating out. Again, the important part is to track your savings and funnel that money into the bank.

Garage Sales/Ebay/Craigslist: If you are not having luck with any of these methods, its time to get more intense. Start digging around your house for stuff you can sell for extra money. I've done this for years and I've made thousands and cleared a lot of unwanted stuff out of my house.

Extra work: There's a ton of ways you can fund your savings account by doing extra work. It doesn't always have to mean a second job, or a heavy-duty commitment like that. You can occasionally babysit or tutor kids, give piano/guitar lessons, do hair, or clean houses, whatever floats your boat. I do decluttering work for people when I have an extra evening and my husband does odd jobs and lawn mowing for people in the neighborhood.

Direct Sales (party plan businesses): This one comes with a warning. Do NOT get into this if you have a shopping problem. It takes a lot of discipline to make this work properly and not be a liability to your budget. However, if you're smart and disciplined about it, you can make quite a bit of money in these businesses. In the past, I've sold both Stampin' Up! and Pampered Chef. I don't make a fortune, but it's a nice trickle of extra money, and I get a lot of stuff for free that I would have bought anyway.

The important thing is to get that money into the bank anyway you can and once it's there - forget about it and let it grow.

What are your best ideas for microsavings?

If you'd like to see past posts on the subject, click the label at the bottom of this post for a complete list.

by TwitterButton.com

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Clutterbugs: Don't Hide Behind Your Excuses

If you have a messy, disorganized, out-of-control house, what are the excuses you give yourself for not dealing with it? There are a million different excuses for not tackling your household problems. But for every excuse you come up with, there is someone else who had that same excuse and has managed to turn it around and create a successful lifestyle for themselves and their families.

Think about what you would tell a friend who had asked you for your help and gave you this excuse. Would you call them on it? Probably. There are very few excuses that stand up to a good stiff dose of honest conversation with someone who cares about you.

What would you tell your child if they were giving you this excuse about doing their homework or something important?

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I don't know about you, but my kids try every excuse in the book - I'm too tired, too busy, I didn't understand it, it isn't that important, I needed to do this other thing instead, I don't know where to start, blah, blah, blah.

I don't accept most of these excuses from my kids, but then again I'm a mean Mommy and they tell me that frequently (ha!). But I'd rather be the mean Mommy with the kids who are passing their classes than the nice Mommy with kids who are dropping out.

On the other hand, after I called my friend/child on their excuse, I would start trying to figure out some strategies to help them get past the problem. The other day I busted my son because he kept forgetting to feed the cats. I yelled and him and took his computer away for a day, but then I suggested that he leave the light on in the cat area, so he would see their bowl on the way to bed. Then we moved the bag of food right outside his door, so he would see it every morning and evening. A little creative thinking can be a big help.

So, now it's time for a little straight talk with yourself. Take a piece of paper and write out all your excuses. Then look at them from someone else's point of view and see what you can do about them. Then let me know what works for you.

If you'd like to see past posts on the subject, click the label at the bottom of this post.

by TwitterButton.com

Pages

Friday, June 14, 2013

Bridal Registry at Macy's

Monday, June 10, 2013

Clutterbugs: Cleaning Styles of Men vs. Women

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Clutterbugs: My Top 5 Motivational Ideas

Monday, June 3, 2013

Clutterbugs: How Does Clutter Affect Your Children?

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

My Cheesy Afternoon on the Dairy Farm

Monday, May 13, 2013

Guest Posting about Bullying at Mom It Forward

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Guest Posting for EmpoweringParents.com Today

Monday, May 6, 2013

The Motherless Daughters Project

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Smart Money: Save Money with Microsavings

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Clutterbugs: Don't Hide Behind Your Excuses

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